


All I See Is Magic

by KissingWinchesters



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Nanny, Blood and Violence, Grief/Mourning, Homophobia, M/M, Magic, Not between J2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:35:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 36,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26129653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KissingWinchesters/pseuds/KissingWinchesters
Summary: Jensen Ackles is a busy man trying to juggle his work as a book publisher and having custody of his niece. Not wanting to admit he needs help, his friend arranges for Jensen to meet Jared Padalecki, a nanny with an excellent reputation. But is there more to Jared than meets the eye?
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 146
Kudos: 189





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [merakieros](https://archiveofourown.org/users/merakieros/gifts).



> Soooo I wrote this a few years ago, mostly I write things and share them with my friend Andy and sometimes she pokes me enough to publish them. She poked me (and got others too! shocking!) so here it is. I have almost 25000 words so I'll update this once a week and continue the fic as I do so it stays regular.

"Gina... yes, I know that, but they said they'd have the final draft ready yesterday. If they don't have it here in an hour I'm dropping them."

Steve smirks and shakes his head, watching his oldest friend pace up and down along the long row of floor to ceiling windows. He feels like a hillbilly sitting in Jensen's swanky office, dirty boots on the polished teak floor, his cowboy hat propped on his knee.

If it wasn't for the dark smudges under Jensen's eyes and the way his hand keeps squeezing the back of his neck, Steve wouldn't have the worrying niggle in his gut. But Jensen is sinking, and there's no damn way that Steve is about to let that happen.

"Fine, they've got until six and then I'm gone for the weekend. Ok, thanks Gina."

Jensen tosses his phone onto his desk and flops into his chair, pulling open a few buttons on his shirt.

"Sorry about that. Looks like I'm stuck here a while longer."

"Ain't that delightful secretary of yours here?"

"It's Ivan's birthday so I sent him home early. And he's not my secretary, he's my assistant. And he's straight. For the millionth time."

Steve laughs. He'd tried to set Jensen and Ivan up years ago at the opening night of Jensen's publishing house, "Wayward Publishing", and a few times since then just for laughs. Ivan is a good laugh and humours Steve, and Jensen still rolls his eyes and apologises for his manchild best friend.

"You need to break a few balls around here, Jenny. You can't do everything by yourself, especially not now." Steve leans forward. "Don't run yourself into the ground."

"I... I'm not. I'm fine." Jensen smiles, but it's weak, tired. "I took the weekend off, didn't I?"

"Yeah, not to sleep and recharge though. You'll be running around after Luna."

Jensen sighs and stands up abruptly. He goes to the window and puts his hand on the glass.

"What else can I do? She only has me to look after her now."

"She has your folks, and Mac... don't shut them out, Jen."

Jensen turns his head sharply, a flash of anger sharpening his features.

"She's my responsibility. Don't start this with me again."

Steve holds his hands up and relents. For now.

"You should at least consider getting a nanny. Luna can't come to work with you so unless you're thinking of taking time off, and let's face it, you won't... you'll need someone to watch her during the day."

Steve watches Jensen grind his teeth, but eventually nod.

"Good, because I know someone highly recommended. Well, I don't know em' personally, but he's a friend of a friend and he sounds like just what you need."

"Sure, yeah. Does he have a card or something?"

"Hm, I might have already spoken to him. He's going to drop by yours at three tomorrow."

"What? Fuck, Steve... why did you do that? I don't need you mother henning me."

Standing up, Steve walks over to Jensen. He puts his hands on his shoulders and makes him walk to the far window. At that angle, the sun setting on the tinted glass creates a reflection, one that Steve needs Jensen to see.

"I called Jared because I know you wouldn't. I'm losing you, boy. That little girl needs you, you're right, but she needs you healthy and happy. You can't keep going like this, Jen."

Jensen stares at his reflection, haunted by the haggard face looking back at him. Tears form in his eyes, but he fights them, doesn't let them fall.

"Would you ask him if he could come at four?"

"I'll message him now." Steve lets go of Jensen's shoulders and places a card on Jensen's desk before taking out his phone.

Jensen stays by the window for a minute or so and then sits back down, stifling a yawn.

"It'll be ok," Steve says, his fingers pausing mid-message. "You're not on your own in this."

Jensen swallows and nods, not trusting his stupid voice not to break. He feels alone, despite all of his family and friends support. None of them understand. None of them can.

Steve's phone beeps and he leans over the desk to show Jensen the reply from Jared.

Four is fine. Tell Mr Ackles I'll see him tomorrow. JP

"Punctual. Already a good start." Steve smiles and looks pleased when Jensen forces a smile too.

"Yeah," Jensen adds, feeling exhausted and itching to get home. He groans when he remembers he has to wait for the graphic artist finishing the cover on his new publication to send him their final draft. "You should go. I'm not gonna be out of here till late."

"Who has Luna tonight?"

"Melissa... uh, she's got her until tomorrow afternoon."

Steve nods but doesn't add anything. Jensen's sister in law has been pretty icy with him and it's a sore subject, not one that Jensen needs reminding of now.

"Alright," Steve stands up and stretches," you call me if you need anything. And call me when Jared's been around."

"I will."

"Give him a chance, Jen. Please."

Jensen nods, hating that Steve can read him so well. He will meet with this Jared, but he knows in his gut that it isn't going to work out.

"I will," Jensen says, truthfully.

"Alright. Talk soon, buddy."

Jensen watches Steve go and then leans his head back against the chair, closing his eyes. He feels bad, that's not new, but he hates that he's already thinking about ways to let this Jared guy down.

He kicks off his shoes and puts his feet up on his desk, hoping that he'll get home at a reasonable hour so that he can get enough sleep not to be a complete zombie for Luna.

As the minutes tick by, Jensen seriously doubts his chances.

***

"Unkie Jesnen, I'm not sleepy."

Luna yawns in Jensen's ear, her cheeks squished on his shoulder as he carries her up the stairs.

"Sure you're not, squirt."

"M'not."

She already feels like a rag doll in his arms so Jensen just knows that she'll be out like a light the second her head hits the pillow.

When he reaches the top of the stairs, Jensen glances at the spare room, now Luna's room, and continues on to his own bedroom. There's a single bed set up next to his that he'd bought the second day she'd lived with him. She'd cried non-stop that first night, until Jensen had carried her sobbing to his room where she'd snuggled against his chest and continued to cry until the early hours of the morning. Since then, they'd shared a room, most nights Luna sleeping in her own bed unless she had nightmares or was so upset and crawled in with him.

When he lifts the covers and places her down, Luna's eyes are already closed. Jensen tucks her in and watches her sleep for a few minutes, her hand curled under her chin. It doesn't seem five minutes since she was born. Jensen can still remember the frantic phone call from his brother, the both of them laughing and crying together, the feeling that even though she wasn't his own daughter that she had changed his life the very moment she entered it.

The sound of the doorbell snaps Jensen's attention back to the present and he leaves the room quietly, leaving the door ajar. Halfway down the stairs Jensen can see a tall figure silhouetted through the frosted glass panels in the front door. Nerves creep into Jensen's stomach and he wonders if it's too late to hide.

"Hello?" The figure leans forward and his nose presses against the glass. Well almost.

Jensen sighs and continues down before opening the door.

"Hey, I was worried there was no one home for a second. I'm Jared Padalecki. You must be Mr Ackles."

"Yeah," Jensen says, momentarily stunned by the sheer force of Jared, the volume, the energy, the smile... it's a lot to experience, and not exactly what Jensen was expecting. Not that he knew what that was either.

"Hi yeah, um, come on in," Jensen continues, turning away and heading for the kitchen, walking around the island in the centre of the room not knowing why he needs a barrier in front of him.

"Wow, this house is amazing."

Jared follows Jensen into the kitchen, not bothered by his pretty rude welcome. He's apparently not bothered by Jensen's personal space either because he doesn't seem to notice the island barrier and chooses to come and stand near Jensen instead.

Jensen wonders if he'd gotten more sleep he'd feel less irritated right now, but he doubts it.

"Thanks. Would you like some coffee?" Jensen flicks on his coffee machine anyway, needing a hit of caffeine himself.

Jared looks away from the large French doors leading out to Jensen's back yard.

"Yeah, that'd be great, thank you."

Jensen grabs two mugs and glances at the man leaning against his countertop. He's younger than Jensen, not by a lot but still, Jensen feels weirdly old standing next to him. He's good looking, great looking really, not that it matters. Jensen would be his employer, and he's not looking for anything like that anyway so it doesn't matter that Jared is hot. Not that Jensen is going to be employing Jared, but theoretically speaking...

"Mr Ackles?"

Jensen blinks and looks at Jared, aware that he must have zoned out and not heard Jared speak to him.

"You don't have to call me Mr Ackles. It's Jensen. Sorry, I'm a bit distracted. What did you say?"

"I was just wondering if your niece was here?"

"Oh, yeah, but she's asleep. It's probably better that I interview you before you meet her anyway."

Jared just nods. Jensen follows the movement, noticing that Jared wore a suit. It looks new, like he's made an effort for this, and Jensen crushes the guilty twisting feeling in his stomach knowing he's going to deny him a job he obviously wants.

"You've got qualifications, right?"

Jared smiles. Maybe it's pretty obvious that Jensen doesn't know what the hell he's doing, or maybe Jared just likes to smile a lot, but he does it as he reaches into his messenger bag, pulling out a folder and handing it to Jensen.

"I do. I majored in child development in college and went on to do a masters in psychology. I've worked with two families since college, the first for six months, the second for eighteen. Both moved out of state, not because of me, for work reasons."

Jared chuckles, watching as Jensen flicks through the folder.

"You have a masters in psychology?" Jensen is going to kill Steve if this was a set up. It was supposed to be about getting a nanny for Luna, not a shrink for himself.

"That's right. I studied specifically childhood trauma and... um, grief counselling. It's difficult sometimes for children to open up when they lose a parent, or both."

Jared fidgets nervously and Jensen puts the folder down on the countertop.

"This was a mistake."

"Wait, please... I know this is really difficult for you..."

"You don't know anything," Jensen interrupts. "I'm sorry, I appreciate you coming, but I don't need any help looking after my niece, especially not... I'm doing fine looking after her myself."

"That isn't why I'm here. You can't be home with Luna if you're working...

"I'll stop working then." Jensen sets his jaw, giving Jared a look that tells him that this farce of an interview is over.

Jared opens his mouth, to keep trying to reason with Jensen maybe, but finally decides against it.

"I'm sorry I wasted your time," Jared says, the energy he had when he arrived now carefully contained. He puts his mug on the counter, the coffee untouched.

"I wasted your time," Jensen says. "I'm sure you're very good at your job, but it's not what I need right now."

Jensen leads Jared to the front door and holds it open as Jared steps out into the porch.

"I am good at my job," Jared says, putting his hands in his pockets. "If you change your mind, you have my number."

Jensen squeezes the door and looks over Jared's shoulder, not wanting to see a pair of puppy dog eyes looking at him and feeling like he's just kicked him.

"Ok, I'll get going. It was nice to meet you." Turning, Jared starts to walk down the gravel path before pausing and turning around. "There's no shame in needing help, Jensen."

When Jensen eventually closes the door, Jared is long since gone.

***

"So, how'd it go?"

Jensen bites his lip and gives Luna the remote. She'd woken up from her nap at about seven and had wanted them to watch a movie, but couldn't decide on what. He'd been avoiding calling Steve about the interview, but it seems Steve couldn't wait any longer.

"Uh, it went."

"What d'you mean?"

Jensen cringes and gets up off the couch, walking over to the French doors and opening them to step onto the decked area outside.

"Didn't work out."

"Jensen, tell me you're joking. What didn't work out? Was he under-qualified? Was he an asshole?"

"No, he was fine. I'm sure he's great at his job, but the truth is that I don't need him."

"Right? So Luna is going to what? Come to work with you everyday? Jesus, Jen, Chris told me how amazing Jared was when he looked after his old boss's kid."

"I never said he wasn't. But, he's not right for me... Luna. He's not right for Luna. Will you get off my back?"

Jensen breathes out his frustration, glancing at his niece tucking into a bag of chocolate buttons.

"Fucks sake, I'm not on your back. I love you, Jensen, but you're a stubborn son of a bitch. You know you're not going to be able to completely give up your job. What's so bad about someone else taking care of the munchkin for a few hours during the day?"

Jensen looks up at the sky. He can't say why, can't voice the thoughts that run through his head day after day. How can't people see that Jensen has to be the one to look after Luna because he owes her that.

"I'm taking six months. I’ll call first thing tomorrow and my leave will start monday. If I decide to get someone in after that then I will."

Steve grumbles, but doesn't press.

"I appreciate what you're doing, and for setting up a nanny, but we're fine. Ok?"

"Sure," Steve replies, sounding sad, but mostly concerned. Jared is in high demand, and their old buddy Chris had been able to tell him enough about Jensen's situation for him to go for the job, only to be sent away.

"Steve..." Jensen runs his hand over his eyes. "I can't really explain, but please don't be mad at me."

"I just wanted to help. You can't fool me. I know you're struggling."

"I'm..." Jensen shuts up. There's no point lying to Steve because he'd see right through it. "I really appreciate the help, I do. But trust me on this, ok? Me and Luna are going to be fine."

Jensen hears Steve sigh.

"Promise to call me if you need anything, alright? And Chris said he'd babysit anytime."

"No, he didn't," Jensen snorts.

"No, he didn't, but I'll make him."

Jensen laughs, and even though it doesn't last, it still feels good. He talks to Steve for a while longer, turning so he can watch Luna giggling and cuddling her bear while she watches the film. His heart swells with overwhelming love and protection for the tiny life in his care, and he's determined to make sure that she gets the best life he can give her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen's time off work doesn't go as planned and he faces more challenges than he can cope with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and your lovely comments!

Jensen makes it until Wednesday until he goes back into work.

"I've got to go and see Gina, but you can play with Ivan for a while before we go to the park, ok?"

"Will there still be ice cream?"

Jensen hoists Luna up further on his hip and opens the large glass door into Ivan's office.

"Yeah, there'll be ice cream. Hey, Ivan."

Frowning, Jensen's assistant waves and stands up from his desk.

"Jensen, hey. What are you doing here? Hello, Luna."

"Ivan! We're going to the park! Do you want to come?"

Ivan chuckles and crouches down to tickle behind Luna's ear.

"Oh, I'm sorry I can't, I'm working today. Maybe some other time, yes? There is some paper and pencils in that bottom drawer if you want to use them while you're here, darling."

Luna beams a smile at Ivan and scuttles over to his desk.

"Thanks," Jensen says, lowering his voice. "Would you mind watching her for a while? Half an hour max."

"Of course not. But, Jensen, I thought you'd taken leave? Was there something you didn't mention in your call or email on Monday?"

Jensen shakes his head. He'd made sure that everyone was happy and confident in running the company while he was away, and he trusted Ivan more than anyone to work as hard as he always does to keep everything in order.

"Gina called, some kind of emergency with George Bennett. He'll only deal with me apparently."

"That man is a drittsekk." Ivan covers his mouth and looks at Luna, but she's scribbling away happily on the floor.

"Don't worry, she doesn't understand Norwegian curse words yet."

Ivan smiles. "Are you going to drop him?"

"You're damn right I am."

"Good. Well, don't worry about the little lady. We'll have lots of fun."

"Thanks, Ivan. I really appreciate it."

Jensen squeezes Ivan's shoulder and goes over to squat by his niece.

"Be a good girl for Ivan, ok? I'll be back soon."

"I'll be good," Luna says, one of the pencils popping through the paper and leaving a red dot on the polished wood floor. "Oops!"

"Don't worry about it," Jensen says, kissing her on the top of her head. "Won't be long."

Luna and Ivan wave as Jensen strides off down the corridor to Gina's office. This crisis better be dealt with damn fast, Jensen thinks, already feeling in his gut that it'll be far from it.

***

Ivan's office is no longer an office. It's a fort.

"You can't come in." Luna's bottom lip is out and her cheeks are red. She has a tiny umbrella pointed at Jensen like a sword. As soon as she sees who it is, her fierce expression changes to a wide grin and she launches herself into Jensen's arms.

"You're not Captain Hook!"

Jensen curves his finger and shouts "arrrr" making Luna laugh and wriggle out of his grip.

"I'm so sorry I've been so long. Looks like you two’ve had a good time."

Jensen gives Ivan an apologetic look.

"Oh yes, Peter Pan over there has been all the way to Neverland and back." Ivan steps over to the water cooler in the corner of the room and Jensen follows. "It didn't go well then?"

Rolling his eyes, Jensen groans.

"I've stopped him from starting a lawsuit against us, but it's far from over. He doesn't have a leg to stand on of course, but he's a complete drittsekk. We don't need the hassle of going to court, even if we'd win."

Ivan bites his bottom lip and nods.

"Are we going to the park now, uncle Jensen?" Luna steps on Jensen's sneakers and pulls at his sweater.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry it's getting late. How about we go tomorrow, huh?"

Luna's big eyes stare up at him and Jensen feels like the biggest shit in the world.

"But we were gonna get ice cream... and... and I wanted to see the duck with the poorly foot."

"I know." Jensen picks Luna up and wraps his arm under her thighs. He looks around at the mess in Ivan's office.

"You get going," Ivan says. "I'll clear this up."

"I owe you a beer."

"Make it two," Ivan grins and waves goodbye. Luna puts her chin on Jensen's shoulder and waves back sadly.

"Do you want to get some ice cream for when we get home?"

Jensen listens for an answer but Luna stays quiet. Jensen knows he shouldn't pander to her moods, but he did create this one so a little bit of bribery to cheer her up isn't the end of the world. He had promised ice cream at the park and he hadn't delivered. No wonder she's in a grumpy mood.

When they reach the car, Jensen tries to get Luna smiling by tickling her, but she's as stubborn as her mother.

"How about candy tonight and ice cream at the park tomorrow?"

Luna's eyes light up at the word candy, and she pokes her finger against Jensen's nose while he's strapping her into the car seat.

"Bears?"

"Yeah," Jensen laughs, "you can have bears. Am I forgiven?"

Luna nods and then kisses Jensen's cheek. She's a good kid, remarkably upbeat and easygoing for someone so young. Especially considering all that she's had to deal with.

"Can we get bears and chocolate, uncle Jensen? And watch Moana?"

"Sure we can. You gonna share your candy with me?"

"Nope," Luna giggles. Jensen looks at her in the rearview mirror and sticks out his tongue at her.

Maybe he isn't so bad at this parenting thing after all.

***

Jensen jerks awake, the echo of the same dream he's had every night since the accident lingering in his mind. He's sweating, but the room is cool, and apart from the faint pink glow of Luna's night light the room is dark.

Trying to calm his breathing, Jensen checks his watch. It's only twelve thirty, so he couldn't have been asleep for long. The dream had taken him quickly it seems, but then he doesn't feel like that was the reason he's woken up.

Sitting up, Jensen decides to check on Luna and then go and get some water, but as soon as he pulls the covers across him he hears Luna start to cry.

"Hey, baby." Jensen turns on his bedroom light. "What's wrong?"

As soon as Jensen gets out of bed, he freezes. There's vomit on the floor, all over Luna's pillow and down her nightdress. She looks so pale, tears streaking down her cheeks.

"Unc... Jens," Luna hiccups. "My tummy."

"Hey, hey, it's ok. C'mere." Jensen goes over to her bed and squats down, avoiding where she's been sick on the floor.

Luna keeps crying and holds her little hands out to Jensen. He scoops her into his arms and strokes her hair away from her face, shushing her and rocking her against his chest.

"Hurts," she says quietly, and Jensen's heart sinks. He's really fucked up this time.

There's a children's clinic about a ten minutes drive from his house. He needs to get her there to get checked out.

"I know, sweetheart. Let's get you in some dry pjs and then go see a doctor, ok? You'll feel better."

Luna nods and keeps crying, her body like a limp doll while Jensen redresses her. Once he's wrapped her in a dressing gown he carries her to the car, tucking a blanket over her as he shivers against the cold. Luckily he had the foresight to pull some sweats over his boxers or the doctors would be in for a shock.

"Want my mommy," Luna sobs, her face scrunched up when Jensen looks at her in the rear view mirror.

"I'm sorry, baby. I know you do."

Jensen grits his teeth and focuses on getting them to the clinic. His knuckles are white and his eyes sting, panic itching under his skin like ants. Why had he been so stupid? Luna ate so much crap when they'd got home from the office, but Jensen had been too relieved that she wasn't angry with him to stop her.

"Idiot..." Jensen curses himself under his breath, pulling into the clinic entrance and parking as close as he can.

He gets Luna out of the car and carries her through the automatic doors. There's a middle aged woman at reception, who perks up as soon as she sees Jensen carrying the little girl.

"Please, she needs to see a doctor."

The lady comes from behind her desk and ushers Jensen towards a corridor.

"It's a skeleton staff tonight, but Doc Morgan will see her."

They stop at a room marked with a number three and the lady knocks, opening the door and laying her hand on Jensen's back who steps through the door.

"Doctor, this young man and his daughter need to see you," she says, leaving them alone.

Jensen looks up to see a man in his late forties or early fifties with a beard streaked with grey.

"What seems to be the trouble?" Doc Morgan stands and takes off his glasses. "Hey, there little lady. Are you feeling poorly?"

"She ate... I gave her too much to eat. Candy and chocolate. She's been sick a lot and says her stomach is hurting. I didn't know what to do so I came here."

Doc Morgan nods, looking at Jensen like it's not the first time he's dealt with overreacting parents.

"Why don't you put her down on the bed."

Jensen nods and pries Luna's arms from around his neck. She starts to cry a little harder.

"It's ok, I'm still here."

"Ok, darlin', can I ask your name?" The Doctor places his hand on her forehead and smiles. "You can call me Jeff."

"L-Luna," she sniffs, but doesn't flinch when Jeff's hand moves to her cheek.

"That's a lovely name. What's your daddy's name?"

"Uh, I'm her uncle," Jensen cuts in, squeezing Luna's hand. "It's Jensen. Is she... is she ok?"

"She's fine," Jeff says, taking a blanket from the end of the bed and covering Luna with it. He steps over to a drawer and motions for Jensen to follow. "I think Luna could use some fluids. There's nothing wrong, just sickness from too much sugar. I'm going to need you to fill out some paperwork. Are you ok to do that while I treat her?"

"Uh, yeah... sure." Jensen looks at Luna nervously and then goes over to her bedside. "I'm just going to get something from the nice lady at reception. You stay with Dr Morgan and I'll be right back, I promise."

Luna looks like she's about to protest when Jeff comes over holding a huge pink unicorn.

"Do you think you could look after Princess for me until your uncle gets back? She has a poorly tummy too."

Luna looks at Jensen, who nods to show her it's ok, and then holds her hand out for the unicorn.

"I'll be right back."

Jensen leaves and heads back to the desk where the receptionist, Angela, gives him the forms he needs. His hands shake as he writes, and he can barely think enough to write down his and Luna's details. Angela must see the state he's in because a cup of coffee appears in his hand.

After a few minutes, Jeff comes from down the corridor and sits down next to Jensen.

"Is Luna ok?" Jensen says, worries about his niece being left alone.

"She's sleeping, don't worry. I was just coming to tell you that she's been given a saline drip and she'll be as good as new in the morning."

"Oh," Jensen sighs, relieved, but still wired with adrenaline. "Thank you... I suppose I panicked."

"It's natural, don't apologise. We'll keep her in tonight. I'll go and move another bed into the room so you can get some sleep too. Do you need to call her parents?"

"They're dead," Jensen says.

"I see, I'm sorry. Do you need to call anyone else?"

"Her aunt," Jensen replies, dreading that call and what Melissa is going to say.

"Ok, I'll leave you to it. I'll be around all night if you need anything. Try to get some rest."

Jeff leaves and Jensen takes out his phone. He scrolls down to Melissa, and then even further down to Steve. Both names make him feel the familiar punch of guilt in his stomach. He can't tell them about this, at least not tonight, but he needs to talk to someone or he'll explode, his head is spinning.

Taking his wallet from the pocket of his sweats, Jensen remembers stuffing Jared's card in there after he'd asked him to leave. He doesn't really know why he kept it, but he's calling his number before he can even think about answering that question.

The phone rings once, twice, three times, and Jensen fears that Jared won't answer, but then the line goes silent and he hears a quiet cough.

"Hello?"

"Hi, um... is this Jared?"

"Yeah... who is this?"

"It's Jensen. I'm sorry, I know it's weird me calling you, but I just... I'm at the children's clinic and I..."

"Jensen? Jensen who? Children's clinic?"

"Jensen Ackles... we met the other day. My niece... you were going to look after her."

Down the phone, Jensen hears rustling around and the sound of a light being switched on.

"Sorry, Jensen, of course..., sorry, I was half asleep. Uh, let me just..." There's another rustling, almost like he's putting some clothes on. "Is Luna ok?"

"She's fine. She's just got a bad stomach but... what if she'd been sick in her sleep? She could have died and all because I wanted to bribe her into not being mad at me for not looking after her properly."

Jensen pushes his thumb and fingers against his eyes. Tears wet his skin and he inhales shakily. He can't cry. He won't.

"I don't think I can do this. I thought I could, but I'm going to wreck her life. I can't even look after myself properly, all I do is work... what kind of life is that for her? She needs more... more than me."

"Jensen, take a breath. Breathe, ok?"

"I'm sorry... I should've called her aunt but she already hates me and I just, I hope you don't mind me calling, but I had your card and..." Jensen looks up at the ceiling, leaning his head back against the wall. The tears he's trying to keep inside run down his cheeks.

"I don't mind at all, Jensen. Try to calm down, alright? Breathe."

Jensen nods even though Jared can't see him. He puts his free hand to his chest and tries to slow his heart to the rhythm of his breathing and after a short time he starts to feel like he's not going to have a panic attack.

“You ok?” Jared says, softly.

“Yeah… better, yeah.”

"That's good, Jensen. Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Calmly, Jensen goes through it all, from the broken promise of ice cream at the park, to taking Luna into work, and finally the events that happened when they got home. Jared listens quietly, without interruption, and when Jensen's done talking he isn't entirely sure what Jared is going to say to him.

"I... I don't know what I'm doing," Jensen adds, closing his eyes and swallowing the lump in his throat.

"You do. You did the right thing taking Luna to the clinic. It's better to be safe than sorry, that's what my mom always used to say."

"It's my dumb fault she's here in the first place."

"So you made a mistake," Jared says. "This is a difficult time for both of you. You're learning to be a parent. Things won't always run smoothly, but you can do it."

"No, I can't. Melissa’s right, Steve's right, even you were right and you'd only met me for five minutes."

"Wait a second, I never said or even thought that you weren't capable of taking care of Luna. Needing help and support to do it isn't the same thing. Jensen, listen to me, you can do this. Just stop putting all this pressure on yourself to be perfect."

Taking a shaky breath, Jensen opens his eyes and sits up straight. Jared doesn't know him. He doesn't see the complete screw up that he is, and as much as he wants to keep it that way, Jensen needs his help.

"Do you think... I know I wasn't all that welcoming the other day, but are you still interested in coming to work with us?"

Jensen cringes at how pathetic he sounds, teary and rambling to a complete stranger. But he needs help. He's swallowing his pride and his fears and reaching out to Jared.

"I'm sorry, Jensen," Jared replies, his voice soft like he's talking to a spooked horse. "I had an interview with a family yesterday and they offered me a job. I took it."

"Oh, right." Jensen runs his hand over his eyes. Of course Jared got another job, Steve had told him that he was in high demand.

"I'm sorry," Jared repeats, and Jensen feels like even bigger ass.

"Don't be, it's uh... it's fine. Look, I have to go, so um, good luck in your new job. I'm sorry I woke you."

"Jensen, wait..."

But before Jared has the chance to say anymore, Jensen hangs up. He can't bear to hear any more, and he's sure that Jared will keep telling him that he's going to be fine, that Luna's going to be fine.

He looks down the stark white corridor, inhales the hospital scent of disinfectant, and stands up. He walks towards door number three and quietly goes inside, relieved that Luna is still asleep, her arm curled around the pink unicorn.

Jensen looks at the second empty bed and takes the chair instead. There's no way he's going to be getting any sleep tonight.

At times when he's stressed, or having a hard time at work, or just for no particular reason, Jensen would call his brother, and Josh would never fail to cheer him up or tell him what to do.

But Josh is gone, and Jensen has to deal with this alone.

***

Jensen looks up from the newspaper when Luna giggles. She's curled up on the couch in a blanket den watching cartoons.

She'd woken up earlier that morning feeling a lot better, and after being checked over by Doc Morgan they'd been sent home. 

"You ok there, kiddo?"

Luna turns her head and smiles at him, still a little bit pale, but with two pink smudges of colour on her cheeks.

"I'm thirsty."

"Want some orange juice?"

She nods and goes back to watching the tv. Jensen gets up and pours some fresh orange into her cup and takes it over, stroking her hair and kissing her on top of her head.

The doorbell rings and Jensen takes a longing glance at his coffee before going to answer it. He hopes it's not someone trying to sell him something.

When he swings the door open, Jared is the last person he expects to see. And definitely not wearing a silver and pink jewelled tiara.

"Hey," he laughs, swiping the plastic crown off his head. "You answered really quick.

"What're you doing here?" Seriously, even Jensen can hear how freaking abrupt he sounds, but his mouth and brain are taking a break from each other it seems.

"I'm here about the job. If you still want me?"

"But, you said you'd accepted another family? What happened to that?"

Jared opens his mouth, but then something catches his eye and he looks down.

Jensen feels a pressure at the back of his legs and the top of a blonde head peeking around him to see who's at the door.

"You're tall," she says, blinking up at Jared curiously. "What's your name?"

Jared smiles and squats down, bringing himself almost to Luna's height.

"My name’s Jared. What's yours?"

Luna looks up at Jensen, silently asking his permission. Jensen nods, letting her know it's ok.

"Luna Ackles. Luna means moon."

"Does it? That's very pretty."

Jared has his hand behind his back, and Jensen suddenly clicks at why the guy arrived wearing a tiara. Well, he still doesn't fully understand why he was wearing it, but at least he's figured it's not his usual attire.

"I had a poorly tummy," Luna continues, apparently quite relaxed in Jared's presence. Despite the size of him, he's not intimidating at all.

"Oh no. Are you feeling better?" Jared's attention is fully on Luna, not even looking up at Jensen.

"Kinda."

"Well, I was wondering if you could help me? See, I was told a warrior princess lived here and I have these." Jared brings his hand from around his back, and not only is he holding a tiara, but a tiny, glittery, purple and pink plastic sword too.

"Doc's unicorn is princess!" Luna beams, pulling on the leg of Jensen's jeans.

"The unicorn doesn't live here, baby." Jensen strokes Luna's cheek with his finger. "I think Jared means you."

Luna's eyes go wide and she squeals.

Jared laughs and places the tiara carefully on her head. When he gives her the sword she scuttles back into the house clutching it to her chest.

"Luna, come say thank you to Jared," Jensen calls after her, but Jared shakes his head, standing up and putting his hands on his hips, standing up on his toes to look over Jensen's shoulder.

"Don't worry. I'm glad she's doing ok."

"Yeah," Jensen replies, rubbing his neck. "You should... do you want to come in?"

"Yeah, great."

Jared practically bounces in through the door, looking around like it's the first time he's been there. He reminds Jensen of a pup he had as a kid, too long limbs and endless energy.

"Coffee?"

"Yes, please," Jared groans. "My favourite coffee shop was closed this morning, someone smashed their window. Which sucks for them obviously, but for me too cause their coffee is amazing. Sergio's, do you know it?"

Jensen shakes his head.

"No, I don't. I usually get coffee from The Red Tree near the office."

"Oh, yeah," Jared says, leaning his hip against Jensen's kitchen counter. Jensen is reminded of their first meeting, and how at home Jared was back then too. "I've been there once or twice. It's nice too, but you've got to try Sergio's"

"What happened with your other job?" Jensen cuts straight to the point, not wanting to make any more small talk. He wants to know why Jared is suddenly here.

Shrugging, Jared flicks his eyes around the kitchen, at the box of lucky charms sticking out of the bin, the newspaper spread out on the kitchen table. He doesn't miss the circled and crossed out adverts for childcare services.

"The kids dad got a promotion at work. They're moving to New York in two weeks. I can't commute that far."

Jared turns his attention back to Jensen and smiles, but Jensen's face is a mask. He's not the vulnerable man who spoke to Jared on the phone last night, and he knows that lying to Jensen isn't the best thing to do, in fact it's pretty shitty, but it's a means to an end. And anyway, Jensen is already so guarded that Jared doubts it matters in the grand scheme of things. He definitely has his work cut out for him with Jensen Ackles.

"New York," Jensen says, his deep voice curling around the words. "And they told you this, when?"

"About an hour ago. I'm getting a months pay so it's not too bad, and I didn't know if you'd found someone to look after Luna, so I thought I'd stop by."

"Hm." Jensen scrapes his fingernails along his jaw. He didn't shave this morning and he's itchy. "Do you agree to a trial? Three weeks?"

"Yeah, that sounds fair," Jared says. "I have all the paperwork you'll need here."

Jensen watches Jared take a folder from his bag and places it onto the kitchen table. He feels kind of awkward that he has a contract drawn up for Jared to sign. He's never done anything like this before, so he went about it like he would dealing with a new client at the publishers.

Jensen picks up the folder and walks over to his desk.

"There are a few things I'll need to go over with you, house rules and stuff like that, but, if you want to read through this first?"

Pulling out a contract, Jensen watches for any negative reaction from Jared, but so far he seems unfazed.

Jared takes the contract and starts to read though it thoroughly. Jensen does the same with Jared’s credentials.

"When did you last go to a doctor?"

Glancing up, Jared's forehead creases.

"I haven't been in a long time. I get the odd cold in winter, but that's about it."

"I'll need a medical done," Jensen replies. Sure, Jared looks fit, but Jensen won't take any chances.

"I'll make an appointment." Jared smiles and continues to read the contract. "Did you have this written up before my first interview?"

"Yeah." Jensen picks up his glasses from on top of the newspaper and puts them on. He sits on one of the stools by the table and indicates to Jared to have a seat.

"You're very efficient," Jared says, sipping his coffee and folding his long legs under the table.

Jensen makes a sound of agreement and starts scanning through all of Jared's paperwork. He can tell that Jared is watching him and it makes him nervous, for more reasons that he can't think about right now. He zones out a little, focusing on the words in front of him, treating it like he would a manuscript at work.

"Hi."

Jared looks down and Luna is standing by his leg, gazing up at him, tiara still placed on her head and sword in hand.

"Hi," Jared says back, leaving Jensen to his reading. The contract was only a page and a half and Jensen has more to read than he had. "Got bored of the tv?"

"Hm, yeah." Luna rubs her nose with the back of her hand. "Can I come sit with you?"

"Sure you can." Jared pulls out a chair for her, but she runs off back to the couch to get her juice.

When she gets back, her tiara is a little more crooked on her head, but she doesn't seem to care.

"What are you doing?" Luna asks after Jared helps her into her chair.

"Jared's going to be taking care of you for a few hours a couple of days a week while I go to work," Jensen answers. He looks away from the papers and smiles at his niece. He might be feeling jumpy about all of this, but he wants Luna to feel comfortable. "We're just getting to know him. That ok?"

Luna looks from Jensen to Jared and smiles brightly.

"I like Jared. Do you like colouring?"

"I do," Jared answers. "I don't really stay in the lines though."

"Me either. My daddy told me I don't have to stay in the lines if I don't want."

Jensen stops reading and looks over at Luna. He worries constantly when he talks about her mom and dad. Should he be encouraging it or not? Which is going to cause her more pain? It's like a minefield. Jensen has a couple of books on helping kids cope with loss, but he isn't sure any of them know what they're talking about.

Watching her chatting to Jared though, she looks ok. A little sad sure, but not on the scale that Jensen has imprinted on his heart. He doesn't think he's ever known anyone to cry as much as Luna has since the accident.

Turning back to the paperwork, Jensen slides the contract towards him and places it on the top, checking for the millionth time. He's doing the right thing, he keeps telling himself. Jared is the best nanny in the state, and he's very selective with his clients. Jensen even googled him after their first disastrous meeting, and he found a Jarod Padalski and a Jared Poleski, but neither were his Jared. No black marks on record from drunken college days. None posted online anyway.

Wait, did he just refer to Jared as "his Jared"? Weird.

"And the monkeys were swinging onto the car going ooh ooh."

Luna is chatting away, flailing her arms in the air like one of the monkeys she'd seen at the zoo.

"Luna, both hands on your juice. How many times have I told you?" Jensen says, placing a pen on top of the contract and is about to pass it back over to Jared when he sees Luna stick out her bottom lip.

"I didn't spill it."

"Yeah, but you will if you keep holding your juice in one hand."

"No," Luna says firmly, "I won't."

To prove a point, Luna shakes her juice, then drops it right over Jensen's contract. Proving Jensen's point.

"That was your fault," Luna yells, her cute face scrunching up and going bright pink. "You made me, stupid!"

"Hey." Jensen stops mopping up the juice, surprised by Luna's name calling. He's kind of embarrassed that she's acting out while Jared is here. He doesn't want the guy to think he's totally useless.

Luna jumps down from her chair, wobbling a bit on her feet before stomping off towards the couch.

Glancing at Jared, Jensen starts to stand up, but then Jared starts talking like it's nothing out of the ordinary so Jensen stays put.

"Don't worry about the contract. My email is on my resume, if it's not too soggy, you can email it and I'll have it printed and signed for when I start." Jared smiles, flashing his twin, ridiculously cute dimples and ignoring Luna's wailing tantrum.

Jensen however is very aware of it.

"So, will I be doing set hours? I'm sorry, I don't know very much about publishing. I suppose you don't work nine to five?"

"Um, I uh..." Jensen tears his eyes away from Luna and back to Jared who is looking completely calm. "I'm not going to be working weekends. I thought maybe eight thirty to three thirty would be ok? Monday to Friday. And some weeks it might be Tuesday to Friday, but I can let you know ahead of time.”

Jared nods and writes a note in a diary he fished out of his bag.

"I'm fine to do overtime if you need me to, as much advance notice as you can but if it's last minute I'll see what I can do."

"I'll email everything to you for this afternoon," Jensen says, frowning slightly. Luna is giggling and babbling to one of her stuffed toys, the tantrum apparently forgotten. 

Looks like Jared really does know what he's doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drittsekk: (derogatory, vulgar) bastard, wanker. Literally a "shitbag".


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Jared's first day. Time for hand chickens and a little bit of magic.

Jared can already see his friends through the window of The Canteen, one of The Nanny Pack's favourite coffee shop hang outs. He waves and jogs across the street, slipping a beanie on his head before pulling open the door.

Nina, Becca and Laura all light up with smiles when they see him, and Jared mirrors it back. They'd been a huge support to him when he'd first started out as a nanny. They called themselves the Nanny Pack and welcomed Jared with open arms, never once showing any jealousy when he'd quickly become the most sought after in the city. They're all around ten years older than him and treat him like he's their son sometimes, but they're great friends.

"Heyyy!" Nina stands up when Jared approaches, giving him a peck on the cheek.

"Hey guys." Jared sits and Nina passes him a coffee. "Oh man, I love you. This is just what I need."

He takes a sip of the coffee, milky and sweet, not like the rich bitter cup he’d had at Jensen's.

"So, how did it go with the Mason family?" Laura asks, her eyes twinkling. "You start properly on Monday?"

"Oh yeah, you got the Mason's," Laura adds, stirring cream into a giant hot chocolate. "Is their house as gorgeous as I've heard? It was in a fancy magazine once apparently, or so my mom told me. Giant swimming pool."

"Uh, yeah the house was amazing." Jared takes another sip of his coffee. If he's honest, he's dreading telling them. They know him, know how he works and the rules that he doesn't break. They're not going to let him leave without squeezing him for information.

"They have two kids, right?” Becca tucks a strand of her short blond bob behind her ear and bites a cookie.

"Ooh, your first job with more than one kid," Nina says, squeezing Jared's arm. "So proud of you."

"Actually, I'm not working with them. I decided to go with another family... uh, Jensen Ackles and his niece Luna. I've just come from there, we had a meeting and I start on Monday."

"Jared Tristan Padalecki, is that you? Is this a clone we see before us?" Laura gasps dramatically making Jared roll his eyes.

"You dropped a family?" Becca looks completely stunned.

"No, I made arrangements for them and they were really understanding.”

"Wait, wait... understanding about what? Jared, you never cancel on clients," Nina says, looking concerned.

"I know, and it wasn't an easy decision, but I had my reasons."

"Oh fudge, I'll say you had reasons!" Becca slams her phone into the centre of the table so hard that Jared is surprised it doesn't shatter. "Jensen Ackles is a god."

Jared blushes immediately, holding his mug out of the way of all the flailing arms grabbing at the phone showing the googled images of Jensen.

"Click on his Facebook page."

"Oh, jackpot it's not private."

Jared squirms. It's not against nanny etiquette to google a client, but he thinks that ogling said client is pretty unprofessional. Especially when Jared doesn't want them ogling Jensen.

"Put it away, come on."

"Holiday photos, boom." Nina winks and smiles at Jared, moving her chair closer to him. "Have you seen these already?"

"No, I didn't look him up online. I'm not a creep like some people." Jared smiles despite his mild discomfort. They're only having a little fun, and he can't deny that he's curious.

"Holy Moses, he's perfection." Laura says, suddenly appearing over Jared's shoulder. She's standing behind his chair to get a better view.

On the screen there's a photo of a sleeping Jensen in a hammock on the beach. The caption reads, "One too many cocktails.".

"They're in Maui. It looks amazing. So does he. Single?" Nina doesn't even glance at Jared, too busy swiping through the photos.

"I don't know. It doesn't matter." Jared can't keep his eyes off Jensen either. It's like he's seeing a completely different man. His smile is so freaking electric, unabashed happiness captured in time. The dark eyed, drawn Jensen he'd just met is a shadow of the sun bronzed Jensen on the screen.

"Topless shot, mayday, topless shot," Laura practically yells.

Jensen is just getting out of the sea, the photo cutting him off at the waist. He's pulling a goofy face, but it can't hide his stunning good looks. His shoulders are slightly burnt, and he has freckles everywhere, almost as many as there are water droplets on him. Jared can't help linger on his nipples, small and pink, hard too. They look just perfect to get his lips around.

"I think we've seen enough." Jared clears his throat. He feels kinda crappy for fantasising about Jensen's nipples when the guy is clearly going through a rough time. They look so damn good though.

"Alright, alright... but just one more."

Nina swipes again and this time there's a group photo.

Luna is on the hip of a blond lady that Jared assumes is her mother. Next to her is a tall man, his arm draped over Jensen, making him look small, and Jensen is not a short guy. They all look so happy, and Jared's heart breaks for them. For Jensen.

Jared looks away from the phone and picks up his coffee. Nina must take the hint because she puts the phone down and gives Jared's arm a pat.

"So other than him being a smoking hottie, what made you break one of your rules?"

Jared considers what to say that won't make him sound like a total weirdo. He can't really explain it properly, and he doesn't really want to either. The pull he feels towards Jensen is something he wants to keep to himself right now, because it's fragile, not unlike Jensen.

"I think I can help them, that's all."

He shakes his head, knowing he's sounding like a complete dork, but his friends are all looking at him with the same understanding looks.

"If anyone can, it's you, babe." Laura gives his hand a squeeze.

"Absolutely," Nina agrees, "but the moment you find out he's straight and single, you call me. Until then I'm setting his shirtless pic as my home screen."

"No, you are not," Jared says firmly, his mouth betraying him and curling into a smile.

The ladies keep talking, and Jared sips his coffee and enjoys their company, but his mind keeps drifting to the photo of Jensen with his family.

Jared wants so much for Jensen to be happy again, to smile like that again, but right now he's adrift. He puts on a front so that people think he's coping, but Jared has seen it before. He admires him for being strong for Luna, but maybe he won't have to be if Jared can help them, even if it's just by taking the pressure off him being a new full time honorary parent.

He can ignore the swooping feeling in his stomach whenever Jensen makes eye contact with him, but that's not his priority right now. Helping Jensen and Luna heal, that's what Jared wants more than anything.

***

"You have my cell? And you put the list of emergency numbers on your phone?"

"Yes and yes," Jared replies, watching Jensen clench and unclench his hands while he hovers by the front door. "We'll be fine, Jensen. But you're gonna be late."

"Yeah, you'll be so late, Unkie Jensen."

Luna is peeking into Jared's open backpack at the foot of the stairs.

"Right," Jensen says, nodding, but he's still not leaving.

"Did you forget something?" Jared picks up his bag and laughs when Luna sticks her tongue out at him.

"I saw paints in there, Jared. Are we gonna paint?"

"Yeah, we can paint if you want to. I'm not very good at it though."

"I can teach you." She takes his hand and starts trying to pull Jared towards the kitchen. "Byyyye, Unkie Jensen."

Jared gives Jensen a knowing look and is surprised when Jensen smiles and rubs the back of his neck. It's a small smile, but it's something, even if it is fleeting.

"Looks like she's happy enough for me to go so I better go." Jensen shrugs on his jacket and takes his car keys from the hook by the door.

"She's going to be fine, I promise. And I'll text you at lunch."

Jensen's shoulders slump, maybe from relief or maybe just because he doesn't look like he's slept very well, but Jared has to fight the urge to rub Jensen's arm or do something really stupid like hug him.

"Ok. I'll be home at three. Be good, kiddo."

Luna runs to give Jensen a quick hug before grabbing onto Jared's hand again.

"Can we paint now?"

Jared gives Jensen a small wave and then submits to the little girl's will and takes his bag full of activities into the kitchen.

"Have you ever made a handprint chicken?"

Jared takes a pad of paper and some water based children's paints from his bag and then puts it aside in a stool.

"No, but I made a tree with my paints. It's on the door, see?"

Jared follows her finger to the fridge where a picture of a tree has been secured with random magnets. Small fingerprints and larger ones make Jared assume that they're not just Luna's fingerprints on the page.

"It's lovely. Did someone else help you make it or just you? Gimme your hand."

Luna does and she frowns, her nose scrunching up adorably while she thinks.

"Oh, mommy helped too. She got green paint in her hair."

Jared smiles and uses a brush to paint Luna's palm bright red. When it's done he does the same to his own.

"Did your mommy used to paint with you a lot? Put your hand on the paper and push down."

Luna nods, but says no more about it. Jared shows her what to do with her hand and she copies, placing her hand next to his and pushing it down.

"It's squidgy," she giggles.

"I like it," Jared says.

"Me too."

Luna watches closely when Jared removes his hand and she takes hers off the paper too, her print a little more smudged than Jared's, but she's pleased with it nonetheless.

Jared keeps asking her questions about things she likes, her mom and dad, Jensen. She's a chatty kid, and she bounces on her chair whenever she gets particularly excited about something.

After drawing eyes, feet and a beak on the handprint chickens, Jared takes Luna out into the garden to play in the fresh air. She must think that Jared is some kind of giant puppy because she takes on the role of instructor, hiding things and making Jared find them. It's all good fun and Jared feels happy that they're getting to know each other.

Since he started doing this job, one of the first and most important lessons he learned was that trust is the foundation of success. Things might not always run smoothly or go to plan, but as long as the family trusts him and he trusts them, things will work.

Seeing Jensen again had been less awkward than Jared had thought it would be. He was reserved, polite, and even though he looked nervous before leaving for work, he had actually left. Jared looked at his phone, impressed that there weren't any messages from him.

It's a bit of a shock to him when he realises the time though. He and Luna have been so busy that he hadn't noticed that it was time to make her some lunch.

"Hey, are you hungry?"

Luna stops digging in the flower beds and nods like her head is loose.

"Really hungry, huh?” Jared laughs. “Ok, let's go and see what I can cook for you."

Luna runs to him and takes his hand.

"I like chicken," she states. "Daddy and Unkie Jensen used to fight."

"Fight?" Jared frowns, but covers it quickly when Luna looks up at him.

"On Sundays. Don't tell Unkie Jensen. I like daddies chicken best."

Jared laughs and lifts Luna onto a stool. It's a nice image, Jensen and his brother fighting over who can cook the best roast. They must have been really close.

"Uhh," Jared clears his throat, "do you like eggy bread?"

"Don't know." Luna swings her legs and shrugs. "I like eggs and soldiers."

"You're going to like eggy bread, then. My mama used to make it for me, my brother, and sister when we felt poorly."

"I'm not poorly," Luna announces. She touches the edge of her painting and smiles at the messy looking chicken.

"No, I know," Jared says, whisking some eggs and milk in a bowl. "We can have them anytime."

Jared puts slices of bread into the mixture and while they soak he takes Luna so they can wash their hands.

"Ok," Jared says when Luna is back in her seat. He twirls a frying pan and places it on the hob. "Time for some magic."

Luna giggles and claps her hands, sniffing the air when the butter starts to melt.

"Gooey bread," Jared says, dropping two slices into the pan. "Watch them transform into fluffy yumminess."

Luna giggles again and Jared turns on the radio, singing along.

"Ahhh! Your voice doesn't sound like Unkie Jensen's."

Jared looks over his shoulder as he plates up the eggy bread. Luna has her hands over her ears.

"He sings better than me?"

Luna nods and rubs her nose.

"He doesn't now. Doesn't play on his guitar. He's sad."

Jared doesn't know what to say to that so he changes the subject. He files the information for later.

"Ok, moonchild, are you ready for the most tasty eggy bread in the world?"

"Yes!"

Jared cuts up the bread into smaller pieces and puts the plate down in front of Luna who digs in straight away. Jared eats his own and takes out his phone, taking a quick photo of her to send to Jensen. He doesn't know if it's too forward of him, but Jared wants Jensen to see that Luna is fine, not just read it in a text.

He types, 'enjoying her lunch', under the picture and hits send.

"Eggy bread is my favourite," Luna says, munching on her last piece. "Can we have it tomorrow?"

"If you want it, yeah. I can make other things too. Maybe we can make pizzas?"

"With cheese?!"

Jared helps her off her stool and they go into the living room.

"Definitely with cheese. Shall we watch some tv?"

Luna nods and yawns, getting a blanket and settling down on the couch.

"I'll get some juice for us, ok?"

Jared goes back over to the kitchen and cringes at the mess in there. Jensen keeps his house pretty tidy, and what with the painting and cooking stuff, Jared has definitely wrecked that.

It's easily fixed though, and by the time Jensen gets home the place will be spotless. Even nicer than how he left it.

Taking a breath, Jared feels the air around him get warmer, the light sharpening, looking almost artificial. He focuses on what he wants, pictures it in his head and sends it out. For something as easy as cleaning up the kitchen, Jared barely feels anything, a small drop in energy but nothing worse than say after a short workout.

A fine glittering light sweeps the room and things start to move. A cloth by the sink rises in the air, dunks itself under the hot water that is running in the sink. The drawings on the table float and land neatly on the counter next to the fridge and Jared has to duck to avoid them.

He smiles to himself and grabs two juice boxes, turning just in time to see all of the painting supplies slide neatly into his backpack.

It won't take long until the kitchen is spotless again, and Jared forgets about it and goes back into the living room where Luna is snuggled up on the couch.

He hands her some juice and sits beside her. She leans on him immediately, resting her head on his arm.

"Can we watch Moana? Unkie Jensen saved it for me."

"Of course. I love Moana." Jared picks up the remote and finds the planner which is full of kids shows and films, apart from a series link of game of thrones which is child-locked and unwatched.

"You do?!"

"Yeah, and I always cry in the end."

Luna giggles and pulls her blanket up to her chin, wriggling happily when the film starts up.

Jared's phone buzzes on the arm of the couch and Jared opens the message when he sees it's from Jensen.

'Thanks, Jared. JA'

It's not a thrilling text, the JA a little stiff, but Jared can't help but think it's completely adorable. Jensen is so awkward and unsure, but at least he's not panicked and come home yet so Jared is feeling good. He reads the text again and rolls his eyes. Hopefully, when Jensen gets home in a few hours he'll see that everything has run smoothly and maybe trust him a bit more. Jared wants them to be friends, as well as having a good working relationship.

"I love grandma!" Luna points at the tv to show Jared.

At least he has one friend so far, Jared thinks, settling down to watch the film.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Magic nanny, magic nanny, magic nannyyyyyy!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen is trying to settle into a new routine with Jared now in their lives, but will it last?

Jensen hesitates, his key just grazing the lock.

"God, you idiot," Jensen grumbles to himself.

He's stupidly nervous about going into the house. Work had been fine, good even, but it's the first time he and Luna have been apart for this long since... since the accident. He'd missed her a lot and getting the photo of her from Jared had almost made him leave his office and drive home. Not because Jared had done anything wrong, but because he’d missed her so much. He just can't stop being so overprotective of her, not after everything that's happened.

Jensen shakes his head and unlocks the door. He's only an hour early, it's not weird, he just finished work earlier than expected. Well, that's what he plans to tell Jared anyway.

"Unkie Jensen!!!"

Jensen smiles and squats down as his niece scrambles down off the couch when she hears him come in, running as fast as she can into Jensen's arms.

"Hey, kiddo," Jensen says, giving her a kiss on the cheek. He wants to ask her if she's ok, but he doesn't want to insult Jared on his first day, and she seems just fine.

Jared stands up, folding his arms and watching them fondly.

"She missed you."

"Yeah? Uh, has she said something?" Jensen looks down at the little girl as she clings to him then narrows his eyes.

"No, I just mean she's talked about you a lot." Jared chuckles and tilts his head in their direction, apparently oblivious to Jensen's moment of suspicion.

"Oh, right." Jensen stands, lifting Luna so she sits on his hip. "Have you been good for Jared?"

"Yep. We pained pictures of turkeys and played in the garden and Jared made me eggy bread and we watched Moana and Jared was singing and crying."

"Wow, you've been busy." Jensen gently tucks Luna's hair out of her face and meets Jared's eyes again. "Painted pictures?"

"Yeah," Jared replies. "They were chickens but I guess they've been upgraded."

"Wanna see, Unkie Jensen?" Luna yawns and puts her head on his shoulder.

"I do. Where're your masterpieces?"

"In the kitchen," Jared says, moving forward and leading the way into the other room.

Jensen's eyebrows raise immediately when they enter the kitchen. It's... perfect. He's no slob, but it definitely didn't look this good before he left. Even the grout around the tiles looks whiter. How the hell did Jared have time to do all this?

"The turkeys." Luna points to the pictures, her hand flopping down onto Jensen's chest, falling asleep in his arms.

"I'm gonna put her in bed," Jensen says, hitching her up higher on his hip. "Thanks for today. You can get going."

Jared opens his mouth to say something, but Jensen just wants to get Luna down for a nap.

He takes her upstairs and into his room, folding back the covers on her bed with one hand and laying her down against her pillow. Her eyes open a little and she blinks at him.

"Where's Jared gone?"

"He's going home now. But, you'll see him tomorrow."

Jensen tucks her in and strokes her hair. The blinds are drawn so the room isn't too bright and Jensen looks at his own bed, suddenly exhausted and thinking about a nap himself.

Luna looks so peaceful, that good kind of tired you only get when you've had a full day and you're exhausted. Sometimes he forgets how young she is, how little. It's great that she's got along with Jared, that they've bonded quickly, they're going to be spending a lot of time together.

Jensen kisses her forehead and her eyes close and he has to remove his fingers from her hand so he can stand up.

He knew it was going to be hard. Having custody of Luna has been life changing, hectic, wonderful, and terrifying. But, he couldn't love her more. And now she has someone new in her life and Jensen is jealous.

Oh, he doesn't see Jared as a threat, it's not like that. It's just that he and Luna are a team, and he hadn't considered the possibility that adding a new player to the game would have disrupted him more than a four year old.

Sighing, Jensen leaves the room quietly and keeps the door open a crack. He's heading downstairs wondering if he can be bothered to make coffee or not when he's startled by Jared, standing in the doorway to the living room holding two mugs.

"Thought you might need some caffeine."

"You're still here." It's a question that comes out as a statement. Jensen could have sworn he'd told Jared he could go.

"Well, yeah, I don't actually finish until three and... I thought we could talk."

Jared holds out the mug of coffee like an olive branch, and Jensen takes it. He avoids touching Jared's fingers.

"What do you need to talk to me about?"

Jensen moves past Jared into the living room. He just wants to sit down, watch some mind numbing tv, alone.

"Do you want to know anything else about today? It can't have been easy being away."

Jensen keeps a poker face, perching on the arm of the couch and taking a drink. The coffee is perfect, strong and dark, if only Jared hadn't put sugar in it. His reaction must show because Jared chuckles.

"Sorry, I made it how I drink it. Force of habit, sorry. I'll remember next time, no sugar."

"Don't worry about it." Jensen puts the mug down on the side table.

Jared smiles awkwardly and Jensen waits for him to say something else.

"Um, oh yeah I wanted to ask. If I wanted to take Luna out, to the park or somewhere, would that be ok? You'd know when and where of course."

"Yeah, sure. Text me first and don't take her to the park on Lexington."

"Is it not a good park? Bullies?" Jared smiles, but still Jensen isn't giving him anything.

"She just doesn't like that park."

Jared nods his agreement and continues to drink his coffee. He needs to broach the subject of Luna's parents, but he's worried about pushing Jensen so soon. If Luna wants to talk about them with Jared, she's more than welcome to, and he will tell Jensen. Just not today.

"Oh, hey, did you have lunch? There's still eggs if you want I can make some of my famous eggy bread?"

"What? No, that's not... that's not your job." Jensen frowns like Jared just asked the strangest question.

"I know, but I've got half an hour left. If you're hungry?"

"I ate something at the office. A sandwich."

It's a lie, Jared knows it, but it's ok. Jared's learning.

"Thank you, though." Jensen clears his throat and stands up. "I'm tired, I think I'm going to crash for an hour or so. I'll pay you your full time, but if you don't mind."

"Oh, sure... yeah, I'll get going." Jared puts his mug down, half empty, and stands. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Yeah."

"Ok, I'll just grab my stuff."

It's awkward, really not what Jared had hoped for after how he came to be in this position. He remembers the desperation in Jensen's voice when he called him from the hospital. There's something so vulnerable underneath this protective wall Jensen has built around him. And Jared is nothing if not determined.

It won't always be like this.

For Jensen, Jared can wait.

He gets his bag and jacket and doesn't mind that Jensen doesn't say goodbye or even leave the living room to see Jared to the door.

Tomorrow is another day, and Jared is ready for it.

***

"Cereal?"

"Cereal, please,” Luna replies.

Jensen nods and fills Luna's bowl with her favourite star shaped cereal.

"Juice?"

"Water, please."

Jensen smiles softly, the creases next to his eyes almost appearing. Luna swings her legs and taps her spoon awaiting her breakfast. They've come to enjoy this routine, getting ready for the day together.

"Here you go, squirt."

Jensen touches her hair as she starts to eat and then remembers his toast, catching it just before it burns.

"Are you looking forward to seeing Jared today?"

"Mm-humm," Luna replies, her mouth too full to give a worded response.

"He said you two might go to the park or someplace. That'd be fun, right?"

Luna nods once, firmly.

"Will you come to the park with us? Jared might get stuck on a swing."

The doorbell rings before Jensen can answer and he licks some butter off his thumb, his toast forgotten on the plate.

"Jared!" Luna wriggles down off her stool and runs to the door.

"Wait up, let me see who it is first, you little dust mite. Hop back."

Luna hops back and bounces on her feet. Jensen opens the door and Jared is pretty much doing the same.

"Morning," he beams.

"Hi, Jared!" Luna appears through Jensen's legs and Jared squats down, opening his arms to catch her.

Jensen hovers like a third wheel in the doorway, and when Jared looks up at him he feels his cheeks heat up so he turns away quickly.

"Uh, come in. We're just having breakfast."

"You can have some of my cereal, Jared."

Jensen hears Jared come into the house and close the door, Luna's excited footsteps trotting along next to him. They're like two peas in a pod, and another tinge of jealousy pulls at Jensen's gut. He looks down at his suit and wonders if Jared thinks he's stuffy or boring. He certainly doesn't give off a fun vibe in his bespoke work clothes.

"Thanks sugar, but I already had my breakfast."

Jared looks at Jensen's uneaten toast but doesn't comment.

"Did you have a good night?"

Jared has a hopeful, eagerness to him that is getting on Jensen's nerves. They're not friends, but Jared seems to think they are, or at least that they will be. He doesn't need to know how Jensen's night was, so why ask?

"I'm going to make an appointment for Luna for the dentist. Probably for next week. Would you be ok with taking her?"

"Oh, yeah that's fine," Jared says, laughing a little when Luna wraps her arms around his leg.

He doesn't look bothered that Jensen completely ignored his question, which irritates Jensen even more. He's just too damn perky.

It might be the fact that Jensen had a shame orgasm last night in the shower. Jared just popped into his head at the wrong moment and well… he went to bed pissed off and apparently he hasn't been able to shift the feeling. It's not jareds fault, but jensen can't seem to stop himself being annoyed at him. 

"How is she at the dentist? Will I need ropes? Chains?"

God damn it. Jensen's brain flies right to kinky shit, not the joke that Jared intended his comment to be. 

"Uhh, no... she..." Jensen's flustered, and there's no way Jared can't see that he's blushing. "She sometimes doesn't want to go but I've not actually taken her alone so I don't know."

"Oh, ok." Jared looks sympathetic so Jensen busies himself getting his jacket on.

"I'll let you know when the appointment is."

Jared nods and takes off his coat, hanging it up and then taking his boots off as well.

"Unkie Jensen, are you have to go now?"

"Yeah, kid, I do. I'll be home before you know it though. Ok?"

"I guess." Luna's bottom lip sticks out and she scrunches up her nose.

"You be good for Jared, Luna."

She nods and stomps off out of sight.

"Don't worry," Jared says, giving Jensen's shoulder a firm pat. "I'll keep her occupied."

"Uh, yeah. Thanks." Jensen walks to the door and doesn't look back. He doesn't want to see what he's leaving behind.

Unfortunately, it takes all day for him to forget about the way his heart skipped when Jared touched him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen feels more himself at work and Jared has an encounter with Luna's aunt.

As soon as Jensen gets to his building he clicks into work mode, and his edginess gets channelled into tasks.

Jensen's phone vibrates on his desk while he's checking his emails and trying to explain for the millionth time to one stressed out author that his book has been optioned for a series. He picks it up, not really looking at the message properly, doing a double take when it sees it's from Jared.

It's only 10:30, kind of early for an update. Jensen unlocks his phone and a photo of Jared and Luna standing next to the couch next to some blankets and cushions and what looks like some bamboo canes out of the garden. The caption underneath reads, 'It started to rain so no park today. We're making a princess den. Will send a progress report."

Jensen is glad that Luna is having fun again, and that she's not bored with not going to the park. He hasn't made a den with her since her parents were still alive, and he feels kind of shit that he hasn't.

Not really knowing how to reply he sends a quick, 'Enjoy, JA.'

He loses himself in work after that, talking with Ivan and even seeing his busy second in command Gina for five minutes in her hectic day.

"Honestly, Jensen, do I just attract the most neurotic clients or are you secretly screening them and giving them to me?"

"You've been asking the same thing for years," Jensen replies, knowing full well she loves the crazy work they do.

"And Jensen gets the assholes," Ivan adds, smirking as he brings the mail. "It's only fair, Gina."

"It's only fair, Gina," Jensen repeats, enjoying how Gina scowls at both of them before leaving.

It's a great team he's got. Jensen loves his job and a huge part of that is the people he works with. They're experienced and talented, and Jensen is proud to be not only the owner but part of that team.

He's lost in thought when his phone rings, startling him.

Worried that it's Jared calling, Jensen answers his phone nearly dropping it on the floor in the process.

"Hello?"

"Jensen, it's Melissa."

Fighting the urge to groan, or slam the phone down, Jensen tilts his head back against his comfortable leather desk chair and squeezes his eyes shut.

"Melissa, hi... uh, how are you?"

"As well as I can be," Melissa, Jensen's sort of sister in law replies curtly. She doesn't ask how Jensen is. "So, I was thinking of taking Luna somewhere this weekend."

Jensen rolls his eyes and takes a breath. Melissa didn't take the decision of Jensen's custody of Luna very well. That and the fact that she blames him for the death of her sister, their relationship has been icy to say the least.

"It's a bit short notice. We actually have plans this weekend."

"Plans? Jensen, you're with Luna most of the week, I hardly get to see her. I'm sure you could rearrange your plans."

Jensen bites his tongue, not wanting to start an argument, but Melissa just rubs him up the wrong way. She's Luna's aunt, a connection to her mother, so Jensen can't create any more animosity between them than there already is, but damn it she drives him insane.

"I'm back at work during the week so plans for the weekend can't be rearranged on such short notice. We were going to go to the beach," Jensen closes his eyes, the phone creaking in his hand as he squeezes it, "you can come with us if you want to?"

"Wait, you're at work? Are your parents looking after Luna? Why didn't you ask me?"

"I hired a nanny," Jensen says, hating how she's leading him. She always manages to bulldoze him. "I didn't ask you because you work most days in the week and also because Luna lives with me, I'm her primary carer and it's my decision."

"You hired some random nanny without even discussing it with me? She's my niece, Jensen. I could have done something to switch hours at work if I'd have known you were going to do this. Who is she anyway? What agency did you use?"

"I didn't hire a random nanny." Jensen straightens up on his chair, adrenaline making blood rush in his ears. "He's the best in the state and I was lucky to have gotten him."

"He? Jensen, tell me you're kidding."

"Excuse me? Jared is a damn good nanny. So what if he's not a woman."

There's a breathy laugh on the other end of the phone and Jensen grinds his teeth together. Of course she's judging him. She's made it clear on more than one occasion that she doesn't think Jensen is the right person to have custody of Luna, and now she's got more ammunition.

"I knew you'd do this. I asked you at the will hearing if you wanted to transfer custody... you're so damn stubborn..."

"Melissa, I'm not having this conversation with you. I'm at work. I'll call you tonight."

"Fine."

She hangs up and Jensen keeps the phone to his ear for a few seconds, mentally calming himself down.

Speaking to Melissa is like running an assault course. You start off positive and end up bruised and wondering why you bothered putting yourself through it.

When he eventually puts his phone down on his desk he has a brief pang of doubt in his choices. Was hiring Jared the best thing to do? Maybe he's given up too easily? Was coming back to work a mistake?

"Chin up, boss."

Jensen looks up to find Ivan holding out a mug of coffee for him.

"Don't let her get in your head."

Jensen smiles and takes the coffee. He hadn't noticed Ivan leave but he's assuming he heard part of the call with Melissa. He's grateful to have someone pull him out of his overthinking.

"Thanks. Listen, I might finish early today. Can you cancel the conference call for me? Reschedule for Friday?"

"No problem." Ivan salutes and leaves Jensen to it.

Pushing the anxious feelings in his chest to one side, Jensen focuses on getting some work done and checks the time on the screen of his computer. He knows he can't leave early every time he feels like it, but today he's antsy to get home.

It's not that he doesn't trust Jared, but he wants the reassurance for his own peace of mind that this new dynamic of theirs is working, and that Luna is getting the best life he can give her. And that includes Jared now. He’s so angry that Melissa is even making him think like this at all. Jared is great with Luna, and he shouldn’t be doubting his decision to hire him.

Shaking his head, Jensen opens up his emails and drinks his coffee. He has a feeling that he's going to need a lot more caffeine to get him through the rest of the day.

***

"Jared, Jared, come be the tree."

"I thought I was meant to be the horse?" Jared blows his hair out of his eyes. He's on all fours on the carpet with a card saddle on his back. Luna wanted to play warrior princess and she needed a giant pony. Now it seems Jared is transforming into a tree.

"I need to see to the castle so I gotta climb the biggest tree."

"Oh, ok," Jared says, smiling as he stands. Luna is so strong willed, a little bossy, but has such a great personality that Jared can't deny he's fallen head over heels for the kid.

"Stand here," Luna says, bouncing on the sofa cushion she's standing on. "Ok, now lift your arms up."

Jared does as he's told and watches Luna try to figure out how she's actually going to climb up Jared.

"You think the tree has a sticky out root maybe?" Jared bends his leg so his knee is lowered.

"Yes!" Luna laughs and clambers up onto Jared's leg, standing on her tiptoes to get as high as she can, her hand over her eyes to see into the distance. "There's the castle!"

As quick as she'd climbed the tree, Luna is back on the floor. Jared isn't sure if he's still a tree anymore or back as the pony so he stays where he is while Luna decides.

"We have to cross the river, Jared. It's swooshy.."

"Oh no." Jared stops being the tree and puts his hands on his hips. He's assuming the rug under the coffee table is the river. "How is the warrior princess going to cross it?"

"Jus' gonna run real fast," she says, shrugging and sprinting over the rug.

"Woah, not too fast, darlin'" Jared says, taking a step towards her, but her knee collides with the edge of the coffee table before he can intervene and she cries out and topples over, landing on her front.

"Awwww... ahh..." Luna is still in the position where she fell, the shock of falling over making her reaction slightly delayed.

Jared has learned from experience that pandering to a child when they have a fall or minor injury isn't the most useful thing to do. Distraction and comedy is a good tool to minimise any distress.

"What? The warrior princess was defeated by a big rock in the river?! How dare it!"

Jared scoops the little girl up carefully and puts her on his hip. There are tears in her eyes and her fist is scrunched against her mouth but Jared hasn't lost her to wailing yet.

"Did it hurt your knee?"

Luna nods and puts her head on Jared's shoulder.

"Nothing can hurt our warrior princess." Jared leans down and uses a free hand to push the table and the rug towards the doors leading out onto the deck outside.

"Stupid rock," Luna says quietly, sniffing a little but not crying.

"I think it's going to go down that waterfall."

"Good," Luna says, her wet eyes leaving damp patches on Jared's t-shirt.

"Wanna stop playing for a while? I think we should have a treat, don't you?"

Luna nods again and Jared sets her down on the sofa. She picks up her toy shark and hugs it.

"Let's have a look at your knee, huh? Aw, it's not so bad. Might have a bruise tomorrow." Jared strokes the hair out of her eyes and smiles at her. "Mr shark kiss it better?"

She nods and hands Jared her toy. Jared makes kissing noises while pressing the toothy mouth of the shark to where she bumped her leg and she starts to smile.

"There that's better. How do you fancy hot chocolate?"

"Yes please," Luna says, her eyes looking a little brighter.

"Ok, you stay here and I'll make some."

Jared breathes a sigh of relief and makes them their hot drinks before joining Luna on the couch and putting on some classic Disney. While Beauty and the Beast plays, Jared thinks about how well adjusted Luna is given the circumstances. Losing parents at any age is extremely difficult, but children can be affected in so many ways that it can influence the rest of their lives. Luna is a great kid and though Jensen probably doesn't believe it, he's a big part of why she's doing so well.

Jared might think a little more about Jensen while the film is on. Only as an employer of course.

Or maybe not.

***********

"You ok drying that mug? Careful you don't drop it on your toes."

"I'll be careful," Luna replies, her tongue sticking out in concentration as she uses the dishcloth to dry the mug.

It's only a light mug and not breakable, but Jared wants to give Luna some responsibility, even something as small as doing the dishes.

Jared's hands fish around in the bottom of the bowl for the spoons and a warm tingle flickers over his fingers. His magic gets impatient sometimes, wanting to be useful, make life easier, but Jared doesn't use it all the time. He likes cleaning up after himself and not relying on his gift to do all the work. His mama taught him from a very early age not to become too reliant on it, even if he does still use it from time to time when he's too lazy to do laundry.

Or impress someone, his mind adds.

Jared rolls his eyes at himself. Sure he'd used magic to tidy up the other day, and sure he was kinda pleased with himself at how great Jensen thought the place looked, but that wasn't intentional. Jared only wanted to spend more time getting to know Luna instead of doing time-wasting things like clean the kitchen.

Anyway, Jared figures he's got a bigger hurdle to leap to earn Jensen's trust and doing a few dishes isn't going to work.

If only he could get through the walls Jensen's built around himself. The night Luna has to go to hospital, Jared had seen the real Jensen, well heard him at least. He might have been in a total panic, but he'd been so honest, so open, and Jared had thrown his rules out of the window because of it. Jared had felt a connection between them then, but since that night, that Jensen hasn't been seen again. It's like Jared is working for a different man.

"Let's watch the end now!" Luna yells running back over to the couch. Jared joins her and unpauses the film.

"Unkie Jensen loved this part," Luna says, looking up at Jared from where she's tucked under his arm.

It's the part where the Beast frees Belle so that she can go and find her father even though it hurts him to do so. Because he loves her.

"It's a good part."

"He says sometimes even if you love someone they can't always be with you. Like mommy and daddy."

"That's right, sweetheart," Jared says. "You can keep loving them though, and your mommy and daddy will always love you too."

Luna nods and squeezes her toy shark. Before the end of the film, her eyes are closing so Jared moves her so that she's lying down against a cushion and covers her with a blanket from the arm of the couch.

He's just getting up to make some coffee when the doorbell rings. Jensen never mentioned any packages being delivered, or any visitors.

Jared heads for the front door figuring whoever it is doesn't know Jensen isn't home and will call him at the office instead.

Through the frosted glass Jared can see a woman's figure, but he can't make out a uniform so that rules a package out.

Opening the door, Jared starts to speak but is cut off mid word by the slim blonde wearing a sharp business suit.

"You're the nanny?"

"I'm sorry, can I help you?" Jared is taken aback by her abruptness and feels weird confirming who he is until he knows who she is.

"I'm Luna's aunt. Melissa Crofton."

"Oh hi, nice to meet you. I'm Jared." He holds out his hand which she takes reluctantly. Jared doesn't miss how her eye travels up his arm to his chest. "I'm the nanny, yeah."

Jared tries a laugh to break the ice but Melissa doesn't laugh with him. She doesn't even smile.

"Uh, why don't you step inside for a minute? Luna's having a nap."

"I'd like to see her," Melissa says, brushing past Jared into the hall.

"Let me just give Jensen a call and..."

"There's no need to call Jensen. Do you want to see my ID or something?"

"No, that's not... look, I'm not being awkward, it's just I've not talked to Jensen about visitors when I'm taking care or Luna and I wanted to check with him first."

"This is ridiculous."

Melissa lifts her hand as though she's getting ready to point her perfectly manicured finger at him, but before she can, Luna shuffles over, running her sleepy eyes with her fist.

"Auntie 'lissa?"

Luna stands next to Jared's leg, blinking sleepily at her aunt. Jared's grateful to have who she is confirmed. He still feels like he needs to let Jensen know she's here, but it's not exactly an emergency and he doesn't want to disturb him at work.

"Hi, Luna. Are you ok?"

"Yes. Jared, please can I have some milk?"

"Sure, honey," Jared replies, finding it weird that Luna doesn't seem too pleased to see her aunt.

"I wanted to know if you wanted to come and stay with me this weekend? That'd be nice." Melissa asks, crouching down a little to be eye level with her niece.

Luna stays clinging to Jared's leg.

""Unkie Jensen is taking me to the beach. He says if it's not too cold I can put my toes in the sea and look for crabs."

Melissa wrinkles her nose and straightens her back.

"What if it rains?"

Luna looks up at Jared, confused.

"I think the weather on tv said it was going to be sunny," he says, smiling when Luna grins.

Scowling, Melissa takes out her phone and sets her gaze on Jared.

"I'd like to speak with you and Jensen as soon as possible. I have a right to know who is looking after my niece."

"Um, ok... I can't really say when Jensen would be free, but if you want to talk to him about it, and he can let me know. I'm happy to show you my paperwork."

"Fine." She types something on her phone and looks back at Luna. "Come give me a hug then before I go. Maybe you'll come and stay next weekend."

Luna doesn't reply and edges forward slowly. Not really the actions of a child happy to be hugging their aunt.

"I'll be in touch," Melissa says once Luna wriggles from her grasp.

"It was nice to meet you," Jared replies, lying because he's not sure what to say to her. It definitely wasn't a nice experience

Jensen's sister in law eyes Jared one last time before blowing a kiss to Luna and leaving.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen reacts badly to the news that Melissa showed up at his house. How much more can Jared take?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for replying to comments on the last chapter so late! I really appreciate them, so much, and I'm so glad you're liking the story so far.

As soon Luna hears the sound of the key in the door she's running to the foot of the stairs.

"Heyyy, kid," Jensen says, making an "oof" noise when Luna runs into him full force.

Jared can hear in his tone of voice how happy Jensen is to see her.

"I've been good haven't I, Jared. I bumped my knee."

Jared meets them in the hall and chuckles while rubbing the back of his neck.

"You've been really good. Very brave too."

Jared whispers the word coffee table to Jensen who nods in understanding. Better not to dwell on Luna's little accident and make her feel upset about it again.

Looking at his watch, Jared realises that Jensen is back earlier than he should be.

"Everything ok?" he asks, watching Jensen take off his coat and jacket. "Cutting work early?"

Jensen puts his bag on the bannister, taking Luna's outstretched hand.

For a second, Jared worries that he's been too forward, joking with Jensen like it's something they normally do, but Jensen gives him a half smile and shrugs one shoulder.

"Guess I just missed this one."

"You did?"

"Yeah, a bit." Jensen kisses the top of Luna's head and they move into the living room.

"You missed me lots," she announces. "Me and Jared missed you too.”

Jensen frowns and looks at Jared before his eyes dart away and he clears his throat. Jared thinks he sees an almost blush appear on Jensen's cheeks, but it might be just the warmth in the room.

"Let go, Unkie Jensen," Luna whines, pulling her hand free and running in front of them.

Luna parks herself on the couch and takes out her colouring book and pens and proceeds to ignore them both, chatting away to her shark like they're not even there.

"Uh, Jensen, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Yeah. Is everything ok?" Jensen looks at Luna, his calmness becoming tension fast enough to make Jared's head spin.

"Everything's fine. Can we..."

Jared motions over to the island in the kitchen and they both go over to it, the counter between them.

"Has something happened?"

Jared licks his lips. "Nothing bad, and nothing serious. I wanted to ask you what you want me to do when people come to the house? I worked with a family once who had an intercom system with a camera so I could check who was at the door before answering but I thought that was a bit extreme, but then..."

"Jared, why are you talking about this? Who's been here?"

"Melissa. She wanted to see Luna and obviously I didn't know who she was so I said I'd call you..."

"But you didn't." Jensen's tone of voice is hard, and his fingers are gripped tightly to the edge of the counter.

"Well, no... I was going to, but then Luna woke up from her nap and saw Melissa and knew who she was. I figured that was enough confirmation and I didn't want to bother you at work."

"Well you should have." Jensen's green eyes are piercing. Sharp and unrelenting and Jared can't look away from them.

"She was here for a few minutes, I don't understand what the problem is..."

"You should have called me and told me she was here. What else did she say?"

"Um..." Jared thinks, slightly shocked by Jensen's reaction to something that isn't a big deal. Sure Melissa wasn't the warmest person so there must be some sort of bad relationship between her and Jensen for him to act this way.

"Well? What did she want?"

"She wanted to see who was looking after Luna, I think, and then when Luna woke up she mentioned having her this weekend."

Jensen sighs harshly and his head drops.

"Unbelievable... she's..." Jensen doesn't finish the sentence, just shakes his head and looks up again, his eyes hard. "Next time, call me if she shows up. I asked you to do one thing and you couldn't even do that."

"Jensen..." Jared frowns and feels disappointment hit him low in the gut.

"What did you tell her when she said about having Luna this weekend?"

"I didn't, Luna did actually. About your plans to go to the beach."

Jensen shakes his head again and Jared seriously doubts if he's even listening to him.

"Would you let anyone into my house? I didn't think you were irresponsible, Jared, but maybe I was wrong?"

"Hold on a second. I told you that I was going to call you, but...

"But, you decided you didn't need to. Do me a favour and don't think next time and just call me. Do you think you can manage that?"

Jared's mouth hangs open, floored by the growl in Jensen's voice and the way his knuckles have gone white.

All he can do is nod.

"Unkie Jensen?"

Jared continues to stare at Jensen and, when Jensen doesn't move, Jared takes his bag off the kitchen stool and goes and crouches next to a confused and upset looking Luna.

"It's time for me to go home now, sugar. I'll see you tomorrow though, ok?"

"Don't go," Luna says, her words trembling as her eyes turn watery with tears.

"Hey, I'll be back tomorrow, I promise. What do you have there?"

Luna looks down at the sheet of paper now slightly crumpled in her hand.

"Nothing," Luna says, pouting and glaring at Jensen as much as a child can glare.

"Ok." Jared touches her nose and then stands, pulling his backpack onto his shoulder.

He doesn't look back at Jensen, a part of him wanting to swish his hair and slam the door on his way out.

He doesn't though, and a part of Jared hopes that makes his point even more.

***

Stepping off the treadmill and wiping his face and hands with a towel, Jared scrambles to find his phone in the pile of clothes on the floor by his bag.

"Ok, ok, Jesus..." He hits the answer button without looking at the caller ID. "Hello?"

"Uh, hey. Jared, you ok?"

Jared sighs at the sound of his sister's voice.

"Hey, Meg, sorry... yeah, I'm fine. What's up?"

"Nothing's up, I was just calling to see how your new position was going. You sound kinda stressed."

"I was just working out, that's all. The jobs fine, yeah, just fine." Jared squeezes his eyes shut and sits down on the edge of his bench press. He's not stupid enough to believe that he just sounded at all convincing.

"What's going on?"

"Meg..." Jared sighs. "I don't know what to do. Luna is a brilliant kid, she's so smart and funny and we clicked right away."

"That's no surprise," Meg chuckles. "So what's the problem?"

"Her uncle... Jensen. I don't know what he wants."

"What do you mean? Has he... Jared, has he done something to you?"

"No, nothing like that. He's not... he's not like that. No, it's just, I can't tell what he's going to be like one minute to the next."

Jared remembers the phone call from the hospital, how scared Jensen sounded, and the way Jensen spoke to him just now. He might have been an asshole, but the same fear was in his voice then too, only this time it was harsh and mean.

"Jared?"

"Sorry. I'm just frustrated with him. He's grieving, and he's afraid he's not good enough to look after Luna, but he's not making things easy by pushing me and Luna away. He was a jerk today."

"Want to tell me about it?"

"It's... sort of complicated. He overreacted to something stupid and then Luna got all upset and... uhh, he was just a jerk."

"Then you should tell him. Jared, you're doing a job and you're a professional, you deserve respect no matter what issues this douche has."

Jared laughs. It's so typical of Meg to be so fiercely protective of him. She may be the youngest but she'd stand up to an army by herself to protect her brothers.

"He's not a douche. Well, he is, but not really. It's not him. If he really was like that I couldn't keep working for him."

"Hm, ok. Then you've got to get through to him somehow. Show him how damn lucky he is you're sticking with him. Or hey, better still, let him speak to me and I'll tell him."

"Uh, yeah, not gonna happen, Meg. I don't want Jensen maimed through the phone. Retract those claws, ok?"

Megan laughs softly and the knot in Jared's chest loosens a little. There's a beep on his phone and Jared looks at the screen to see a second call waiting. It's Jensen.

"Um, Meg, can I call you back later?"

"Let me guess. The douche?" Megs tone isn't nasty, but Jared can tell she's still worried

"He really isn't a douche, Meg. I need to talk to him."

"Ok. Call me later. I love you."

"Love you too. Bye."

Jared ends her call and checks that Jensen is still on hold. His finger hovers over the answer button, and with a deep breath, Jared presses it.

"Hello?"

"Hey... it's Jensen."

"I know. What can I do for you?"

Jared hears Jensen blow out a breath, most likely at the clipped way Jared answered his call. But what did he expect? Jared won't take how Jensen treated him lightly, and no matter how hurt Jensen is right now, they have to work this out somehow.

"I wanted to apologise, for earlier, and... well, for every time I've acted like an asshole. So ninety nine percent of the time, I guess."

"It wasn't that much. Maybe ninety five."

There's a breathy sound from Jensen's side, something that could almost be relief. That Jared isn't hanging up on him? That he's joking with him, however lame? Jared doesn't know.

"How's Luna?"

"She's not talking to me. I don't blame her."

"It won't last, don't worry."

"She tore up the picture that she drew to make me feel better."

Jared smiles. Luna is a little drama queen. The smile doesn't stay long on his face though.

"What's going on with you and Melissa, Jensen? Why does she get you so much?"

There isn't an immediate answer, but Jared stays quiet, doesn't push. Jensen is thoughtful, a little introverted maybe, and apparently finds it easier to talk on the phone than to Jared's face.

"It's complicated."

Jared closes his eyes, picturing that wall around Jensen getting taller, but as usual, Jensen surprises him.

"She doesn't like me. Or that I have custody."

Jared lies back against the bench, pulling his feet up onto the base.

"She expected to get custody after... the accident?"

"Yeah," Jensen says, just loud enough for Jared to hear. "She used to work in Canada, I only ever saw her a few times a year, but she never took to me, I suppose. I used to laugh about it with Josh."

Jared swallows, his heart beating fast because this is the real Jensen he's hearing now, the one who made him drop another job and work for him.

"Anyway, when everything happened and I was named in the will as Luna's guardian, Mellissa moved out here and filed an appeal."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"She obviously didn't win," Jared says. He can't imagine how hard that was for Jensen after losing his brother and sister in law.

"No, and it didn't help with her opinion of me. She doesn't think I'm the right person to raise Luna. Sometimes I think she's right."

"Jensen..."

"God, I'm sorry... I shouldn't be offloading this crap on you."

"It's fine," Jared starts, wanting to tell Jensen that it's not crap at all, it's how he feels, and it's obviously part of the mess Jensen's in right now. Before he can say all this though, Jensen is speaking again.

"So, um, I hope you'll still be at the house tomorrow. I understand if you don't want to. I'm... it's not an easy job, I know. Um... sorry, I think I heard Luna I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow?"

Jared opens his mouth but the call cuts off.

Well, that was interesting.

"Huh." Jared sits up, spots dancing over his vision as the blood flow to his head returns to normal.

Before he can even process anything, his phone buzzes in his hand, Jensen's name flashing up on the screen again.

"Hello?"

"Hey," Jensen says, his embarrassment clear in his voice. "Sorry. Again."

"Is Luna ok?"

"She's asleep."

"Oh." Jared bites his lip, not really sure what to say so waits for Jensen.

"It's not easy for me. This stuff. I don't really talk about it."

Jared's heart drops at that. He wonders if Jensen has opened up to his friends and family like this, or if it's just him?

"You know, we haven't known each other for much time, but you can tell me things. If it helps."

"Are you a therapist as well as a nanny?" Jensen asks, laughing softly, breaking the seriousness a little. "You didn't sign up for this, Jared."

"I signed up to work with you and Luna. I don't expect everything to be perfect, but things need to be different."

"Like me being a complete asshole?"

Jared laughs. "Only ninety five percent remember?"

"Oh yeah, only ninety five, my mistake."

"I know you're not an asshole. You're under a lot of pressure, and now I'm here I can take on some of that from you. You just have to let me."

Jensen is quiet again, thinking maybe, but Jared is content just to listen to the calmness of his breathing. They've made progress, something's clicked between them and Jared is more relieved than he probably should be. He's not meant to let himself get so attached to families he works for, but he's infatuated with Luna, and as for Jensen...

"Thank you... I really appreciate it." Jensen takes a breath and even though Jared can't see him smile, he knows that he is.

"I'll see you in the morning," Jared says.

"In the morning, yeah. Ok then, goodnight Jared.

"Night, Jensen."

***

The next morning, Jared wakes up extra early to go for a run. The ground is wet, the sky a dull grey, but Jared feels lighter than he has in a while.

By the time Jared has walked from his car to Jensen's front door his hair feels damp. He rings the doorbell and bounces a little on his heels, the cold settling in his bones.

When the door swings open, Jensen is on the other side. In an apron.

"Hey, ah man, come in. Damn look at the rain."

Jared steps into the house and shrugs off his coat, hanging it up on a hook by the door.

"It's meant to be like this all day," Jared replies. He's pleasantly surprised by Jensen's friendly greeting, but he doesn't miss how Jensen avoids keeping eye contact for too long. "Cooking?"

Jensen looks down at himself, like he forgot what he was wearing, and his cheeks colour slightly.

"Waffle day. There's plenty if you want some?"

"I love waffles," Jared replies, following Jensen into the kitchen.

"I love waffles too! Jared!"

Luna scrambles down from her chair and bounds over to Jared, flinging her arms around his legs and getting sticky syrup on his pants. "And I have new shoes, see?"

"Let Jared go so he can see, goose."

Jensen steps around them and takes off his apron. Jared thinks it's a shame, Jensen looks totally adorable in it, but his mind changes quickly when he gets a nice view of Jensen's thighs in his suit pants.

"Not a goose," Luna says, but does let go of Jared, jumping back and kicking her new red sneakers in the air.

"Wow, they're so nice," Jared says, following his nose over to the table where there's a big stack of beautiful golden waffles.

"Help yourself," Jensen says, a smile tugging on his lips.

Jared wipes his mouth, half expecting to find drool there.

"Am I that obvious?"

"The hearts shooting from your eyes gave you away," Jensen says, still avoiding too much eye contact, but his friendliness is genuine.

Jared puts his bag next to the stool he perches his butt on and forks two waffles onto a plate. There's fruit and yogurt and syrup and Jared doesn't even try to be refrained, he goes for all the toppings.

"This is great. Thanks, Jensen."

Jared takes a bite of his waffle and moans, everything is so good and melting in his mouth. 

"Unkie Jensen? Can I ask now?"

Jensen blinks and looks down at Luna like he'd forgotten she was there for a moment.

"Let Jared finish eating first," Jensen replies, eyerolling as he packs some folders into his book bag.

"But, I can't! Please can I ask him?"

Jensen shrugs and passes a coffee over to Jared without a word.

Jared swallows and takes a sniff at the contents of the big mug. It's not black coffee, and it's definitely the level of sweet that Jared likes because his mouth waters and his teeth tingle at just the thought of it.

Jensen smiles and carries on packing his bag.

"What did you want to ask?" Jared keeps eating but turns his attention to the little girl practically vibrating with excitement next to him.

"Unkie Jensen is taking me to the beach tomorrow. Will you come with us? It's going to be fun, and we can have so much ice cream and I'm going to go in the water."

"Woah, slow down," Jared chuckles. "You want me to come with you?"

"Yes! Even funner with you too."

Jared looks at Jensen, because this is a big change in dynamic. Sure, progress was made during the phone call and this morning was a nice surprise, but Jared isn't sure if this is something Luna wants and Jensen is just humouring her.

"You don't have to. It's your free time, so if you're busy... but, we'd both like you to come. Picnic provided."

"Jam sandwiches," Luna adds, with a firm nod.

"Oh, well how can I say no to that?" Jared picks up a napkin and wipes his mouth.

"You're coming too?!" Luna screeches something inaudible and runs from the kitchen leaving Jared and Jensen alone.

"I have no clue where she's going," Jensen says slowly, putting his hands on his hips.

"I, uh, I take it you two are ok now?"

Jensen picks his own coffee mug - still black, and holds it against his chest.

"Yeah, I told her that I'd been wrong and unfair to you and she said I was a poop and then forgave me."

Jared can't help the warm feeling that settles in his stomach, and it's definitely not because of the coffee and waffles. This Jensen is real, and he's letting Jared see him. He smiles and takes another waffle, accepting the syrup when Jensen slides it over.

"I taped the picture up too. It was me and Luna riding unicorns."

Jared nearly chokes on his waffle.

"Really? Can I see it?"

Jensen does a little eye roll, but like Jared, he looks pretty amused.

"I forget how smart she is sometimes, you know? She notices things and..." Jensen sighs and takes the fixed picture off the fridge and passes it to Jared. "It's hard not to let her see the whole thing with Melissa, but Luna always draws me something after she's been around."

Jared looks at the drawing. It's full of colour, Jensen has pink wings and sort of looks like a drag queen, but Luna put a lot of love into it.

"You like the dress I'm wearing?" Jensen asks.

"It's charming," Jared grins. "And the wand too."

Jensen nods and finishes his coffee, putting his mug in the sink.

"You really don't have to come if you don't want to. It's not mandatory or anything."

"You mean you're not paying me?"

For a second, Jensen looks horrified, but then Jared lifts an eyebrow and Jensen shakes his head, smiling enough so that his eyes crinkle at the edges.

"No, I'm not paying you to sit around and get a tan. Or to eat jam sandwiches."

Jared shrugs, a little disappointed to hear Luna's footsteps coming back to the kitchen. The disappointment is fleeting though, and Jared tears his eyes from Jensen to see Luna carrying a bucket and spade in one hand and a big sun hat in the other. However much Jared would like to have some more time alone with Jensen, he's there to work, and it's work he needs to give his attention to.

"We can build sand castles tomorrow, Jared. I'll show you how, ok?"

"I don't know if I'll be a very good builder," Jared says, glancing at Jensen who is putting on his suit jacket ready to go to work.

"Don't worry, unkie Jensen is bad at it too."

"Oh, is he?" Jensen pulls his face at Luna and makes her giggle. "I'll see you later."

Luna lifts her chin and Jensen leans down to let her kiss his cheek.

"Have a good day and behave for Jared. Oh, uh... leave all this mess, ok? I'll do it later."

"It's fine," Jared says, his fingertips tingling with warmth, his magic contained for now. "I'll wash up. After I've eaten some more waffles."

Luna makes a snorting sound like a pig and Jensen says goodbye, a cute, still shy smile tugging on his lips. Jared wants to tell Jensen he doesn't have to try so hard, but he's so damn cute that Jared doesn't have the heart.

True to his word, Jared forks another waffle into his plate.

"Are you having another? There's still lots here."

Luna nods and puts her bucket and spade on the floor, putting the sun hat on and getting on her chair next to Jared.

"You can't tell anyone, but they're extra special waffles."

"They are?" Jared helps Luna with the syrup and then pours some more coffee. It's not the sweet coffee Jensen gave him, but it'll do.

"Unkie Jensen says that when you've been mean to someone you have to show that you're sorry. Special sorry waffles."

"Oh... they're..." Jensen had made the waffles for him, not just for breakfast and there was extra, he'd actually made them with Jared in mind. "That was a kind thing to do."

"You're not sad? You were yesterday."

"No, I'm not sad, sugar. Sometimes grown ups are just silly, that's all."

She wrinkles her nose and stabs a square of waffle with her pink fork.

"I know. That's why I made Unkie Jensen my picture. 'Lissa makes him sad."

"Do you make him pictures a lot? When he's sad?"

Luna nods and takes off her hat, handing it to Jared. He puts it down on the table but she points at his head.

"It's too small for me," Jared says, but balances it in his head anyway.

"She is mean to him and she never says sorry like you're supposed. I don't want her to come to the beach."

Jared nods and touches her hair, comfortingly. There are too many puzzle pieces missing for him to see the whole picture yet, but maybe Jensen will open up some more on their trip. Whatever it is, Melissa is not popular in the Ackles household.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise Jensen won't be an asshole to Jared again hahaha


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared and Jensen take Luna to the beach. Can they get through one day without drama?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, posting a day late! So now the big chunk of already written fic has been posted so I'm writing all new stuff now. I'll try my best to keep posting every Wednesday :) thanks so much for reading and commenting!

"So you're taking Jared on a date to the beach?"

Jensen starts to bring his hand to his face to rub his eye but then realises he's got jam on his fingers.

"It's not a date."

"You sure? You haven't done it for a while, maybe you forgot what it is?”

"Steve..." Jensen sighs and boxes up the sandwiches and carrot sticks. "I was a dick to him, ok? I'm lucky he didn't quit. I just thought it'd be a good idea to, I don't know, not be a dick."

Jensen moves the phone between his shoulder and his ear so he can use two hands to carry on packing the cooler. As well as jam sandwiches, Jensen made chicken salad and turkey sandwiches, not sure what Jared would like, but figuring he'd be ok with anything after seeing him eat.

"I thought this was a good idea, until you called, so thanks." Jensen continues, but his tone is light and he smiles. Steve is blunt and a bit of a tool sometimes, but he's a great friend and only has Jensen's best interests at heart.

"Look, I'm sure you weren't that bad..."

"Wanna bet?"

"And I'm also sure," Steve continues, "that Jared will see what an awesome guy you are. Don't overthink things, alright? Have a good day with the munchkin."

"Yeah, I will."

"And no putting out on the first date. Make him work for it, Jen..."

"Bye, Steve." Jensen hangs up and shakes his head. Stupid idiot. But Steve has weirdly eased a bit of Jensen's nerves. Not that he was nervous about anything. Like he said, it's not a date, it's just a day out. With a nice guy, who's easily the most beautiful man he's ever seen, who is amazing with Luna, and makes Jensen want to...

"Unkie Jensen! Jared's here!"

Snapping out of his daydream, Jensen packs the rest of the food and drinks in the cooler and then goes to join Luna bouncing around like silly putty by the front door.

Jared waves through the frosted glass making Luna squeal.

"Oww, my ears," Jensen teases, opening the door to Jared. "She's hyper and it's not even nine thirty. It's your fault and I think you should know that."

Jared chuckles and holds up a small kite with a picture of a mermaid on it.

"I take full responsibility," he says, winking at Luna and stepping inside. He's wearing a pair of flip flops, board shorts with wild tropical palms all over them, and a soft looking blue t-shirt.

"Is that for me?!" Luna stands on her tiptoes to reach the kite and Jared hands it to her.

"Careful you don't tear it," Jensen tells her gently.

"I'll be careful."

"I thought we could teach your uncle Jensen how to fly it."

"Yes!" Luna scampers off into the kitchen with her kite and Jared and Jensen share a look.

"I don't think I've ever seen her so excited," Jensen says, trying not to stare at the defined curves of Jared's calf muscles.

"I thought she'd been drinking your coffee or something?"

Shaking his head, Jensen takes the lead and walks into the kitchen.

"Your hat is on the chair," Luna announces, pointing to the navy baseball cap Jensen had been looking for earlier that morning.

"What would I do without you?"

Luna giggles and takes Jared's hand, watching Jensen check that everything they need is packed.

"Sunblock? Sunglasses? Towels?" Jared lists, swinging Luna's hand.

"Check, check, and check. I think we're ready to go."

"The jam sam wiches?" Luna asks very seriously.

"They're packed, don't worry." Jensen chuckles, putting his baseball cap on and lifting the ridiculously heavy cooler. He feels a little overdressed compared to Jared, going for longer shorts and a loose but long sleeved t-shirt. He told himself it's because he burns easily, but deep down he knows he was irrationally shy about Jared seeing his body. Not that Jared would even be looking… but, he just hasn’t been working out lately and he’s feeling self conscious about it.

"You ok carrying that?"

"Hm?" Jensen blinks, realising Jared spoke to him and that he must have been staring into space. "Oh, yeah, it’s not too heavy. Sorry... I don't think I'm totally awake yet."

"It’s ok," Jared replies, smiling. "Thanks again for inviting me. I haven't been to the beach in ages."

Jared lets Jensen through the kitchen door ahead of him and they both see Luna waiting with all of her beach stuff.

"We haven't been to the beach in a while have we, kiddo? And we're glad Jared's coming too, right?"

"Yes! He can give me piggybacks and we can bury unkie Jensen's feet in the sand."

Jared laughs and opens the front door for them both.

"If I'd have known you two were going to gang up on me I would have left you both at here."

Luna sticks out her tongue and lets Jared put her in the car seat. Jensen's nerves are rapidly disappearing, and by the time they're all in the car and ready to go, he's even starting to feel comfortable. It's sort of scary how quickly Jared is becoming part of their dynamic. He just fits, and Jensen never thought he'd be able to accept anyone getting close to himself and Luna. His protectiveness of her put them in an isolated bubble, but Jared is breaking through.

Around ten minutes into the forty or so minute drive to the beach, Luna asks Jensen to put her cd on. Jared glances at him curiously, his arm resting against the window in the sunshine.

"You sing the first part," she says, giggling.

Jensen rolls his eyes, but makes sure she can't see, clearing his throat dramatically. Luna is determined to embarrass him today, and by the grin on Jared's face, he's enjoying every second.

The song starts to play, a weird story about a fox who goes and lives on the moon, and Jensen sings along with the first verse, knowing all the words by heart. He's heard it enough times he could sing it in his sleep.

Luna joins in in the second verse, and Jensen tries and fails not to blush at how intensely Jared is watching him. Keeping his eyes firmly on the road helps some, but the weight of Jared's eyes is physical.

When the song ends, Jensen plays it again but doesn't sing this time. Luna keeps singing in the back of the car though, scribbling in her colouring book and not paying Jared or Jensen any mind.

"You have a really great voice," Jared says, turning slightly in his seat to face Jensen directly.

Jensen makes a 'pfft' sound, changing gear as they clear some built up traffic.

"Don't do that," Jared continues. "You really do."

"I guess I like singing," Jensen says, giving Jared a wry look.

"I think you could be in a band or something, I don't know, be professional." Jared shakes his head when Jensen snorts and pulls a face at him. "I'm serious."

"I know, it's scary."

Jared chuckles but drops the subject. Somehow he thinks that Jensen's lack of self image is part of the reason he knocks aside any compliments. It makes Jared sad, but it also gives him more determination to be a friend to Jensen, and show him that he's all of those things and more.

"Do you have anything planned for the rest of the weekend?" Jensen passes an open top convertible driven by a stunning woman. He nudges his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose and checks on Luna in the rear view mirror.

Jared ignores the flutter of hope in his chest at Jensen not noticing the woman.

"Um, nothing really planned. I should probably do laundry and clean my apartment though. The mountain in my washing basket is threatening to fall over and crush me under it."

"That'd have to be a big mountain," Jensen replies.

Jared can't tell if there was a slight innuendo in that comment, and Jensen's face gives nothing away, his focus still firmly on the road ahead.

"Do you and Luna have plans?"

"No, just hanging at the house and being lazy I think. Sundays are for being lazy."

"And baths," Luna pipes up.

"Oh yeah, Luna loves a bath. She's going to turn into bubbles one day the amount of bubble bath she uses."

Jared turns around to look at her.

"Unkie Jensen has a bubble face."

"Huh?" Jared lifts an eyebrow and Jensen gives him the side eye behind his glasses.

"Bubble beard," he says, shaking his head like he's an idiot.

"I have a bubble beard too when it's bath time," Luna continues, scrunching her fingers around her chin to show Jared.

It's cute, seeing the bond Jensen and Luna have. Jared's seen bits of it of course, but Jensen is always either leaving for work or coming home from work, so the time Jared has with him there is short.

When they arrive at the beach, it’s already looking pretty crowded, but instead of parking on the main strip, Jensen drives a little further and pulls into a smaller parking lot overlooking a pretty bay.

“It gets kinda touristy on the weekends, but it’s a bit quieter here,” Jensen explains.

“It looks amazing,” Jared replies, opening the car door and breathing in the sea air.

“Come on, Jared!” Luna wriggles out of Jensen’s arms who was helping her out of the car and takes Jared by the hand.

“We gotta get the stuff out first, kid. Calm it down.”

Jared keeps hold of Luna but takes a bag from Jensen when he hands it to him, slipping it onto his shoulder. Jensen gets the picnic bag and the beach towels.

“If we set up over there we can have shade and some sun,” Jensen says, pointing to some large rocks to their left.

“Good idea,” Jared agrees, and they all walk down the path towards the steps that take them onto the beach.

It’s warm already, the sun rising into a clear blue sky, but there’s a breeze coming off the sea which will be a godsend when it gets to midday.

“Jared, can you swim?” Luna squats down once they’ve chosen their spot, undoing the snaps on her shoes and pulling them off.

“Uh-huh.” Jared toes his flip flops off and hands Jensen the bag he’s holding. “I think I’ll just put my feet in today though.”

“I have water wings for the pool, but unkie Jensen says I’m too little for the sea.”

She shrugs, like she doesn’t really mind, and starts to hunt for shells, holding some and slipping others into the pockets of her dress.

“Looks like she’s not going to help me put this thing up,” Jensen says, smiling at Luna and then looking at Jared. “Want to give me a hand?”

“Sure.” Jared takes a look at the beach tent Jensen is holding. One person could easily put it up, but Jared appreciates Jensen’s continued efforts to make him feel welcome.

Unfolding the bright pink fabric, Jensen hands Jared some poles and they connect them all. Pushing them through the slots in the tent until they join up. Once they lift the structure together, there’s a good sized tent there for Luna to nap in or just play inside if she gets too hot.

“I never thought of bringing an umbrella for us. I sit in the shade mostly.” Jensen pushes the sleeves of his t-shirt up to his elbows and reaches down for the towels.

Jared can’t stop himself looking. Jensen has freckles on his arms. His complexion is tinted with a light summer tan and the hairs on his arms has the same reddish gold colouring as the stubble on Jensen’s jaw. Those freckles though, there’s just something about them that makes Jared’s mouth water.

“I can burn if I sit in the sun too long,” Jensen continues. He’s not noticed Jared standing next to him like a stunned fish.

Jared blinks, glad that he hadn’t been caught ogling his employer.

Jensen turns his head, bent over to get a couple of bottles out of the cool bag.

“I don’t suppose you have that problem?” Jensen straightens up and hands Jared some water.

“Hm, oh, nah I don’t really burn. I use plenty of sunblock though.”

“Sunblock is important,” Luna pipes up, bucket and spade in her hand. “But it’s sticky.”

“Yeah, it is,” Jared laughs. “Well, are we going to build the biggest sandcastle village ever?”

Luna shakes the bucket and spade excitedly and kneels in the sand, and Jared and Jensen sit either side of her and get to work.

“I haven’t done this in so long,” Jared says, filling a bucket by scooping up some sand on the tiny plastic spade. “Not since I used to come to the beach with my brother and sister.”

Jensen looks up, one eyebrow raised above the rim of his sunglasses.

“You’ve got a brother and sister? Yours younger or older?”

“Older brother, younger sister,” Jared replies.

“Same.” Jensen looks down, but Luna isn’t really listening.

“Sorry,” Jared says, apologising because he doesn’t know what else to say. Jensen is obviously still too upset to talk about his brother, and a day out isn’t exactly the right time to broach the subject.

“Don’t be.” Jensen looks out at the water, takes a breath, then turns back to Jared. “Do you see them much?”

“We all live in different parts of the country, but we make the effort, yeah. And I can’t get my sister off the phone most of the time.”

“Tell me about it,” Jensen says with a grin.

“Can I ask you something?”

“That depends.” Jensen’s smile fades and that mask of his comes down over his face. Jared thinks that Jensen must be so used to it now maybe it feels more like him than the man underneath.

“It was just about your job.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I mean, I know you’re a book editor, but I admit I’m kinda clueless about what you actually do.”

Jensen’s forehead creases and he rubs his chin, checking on Luna who is still playing happily in the sand.

“You really want to know about it?”

“Yeah,” Jared says. And he does. From Jensen’s shocked reaction, he figures Jensen might think it's boring or something, but Jared really wants to know.

“Ok, well... I didn’t start out as an editor, it took around ten years...”

Jared listens intently as Jensen tells him about his love for books and the world of literature. He asks questions here and there, but is content to just let Jensen run with the conversation.

It’s only when Luna tips a whole bucket of sand on Jensen feet that Jensen shuts up.

“Help, Jared,” Luna giggles.

***

“Thanks for inviting me today. It’s been really nice,” Jared says, securing his seatbelt.

Jensen looks over at Jared and smiles. They’d stayed longer than Jensen thought they would, but it had been good, really good, and Luna had been so happy that he didn’t have the heart to cut the trip short. Eventually though, the breeze had picked up and Luna was falling asleep in the beach tent so they decided to pack up.

“It was, yeah. Luna enjoyed herself.”

Jared looks to the back seat when Jensen tilts his head, the little girl fast asleep in her car seat.

“You did too,” Jared says, smiling back. “Go on, admit it.”

“I’m not denying it,” Jensen laughs. “Is this you fishing for compliments?”

“Um, no, I’m a hoot, I know that already.”

Jensen’s eyebrow lifts and he scoffs, but Jared can tell he’s genuinely enjoying the friendly banter. As for Jared, he’s still kind of stunned by this side of Jensen. It’s nice to see him so relaxed.

“A hoot? Okkkk. That cool kid slang nowadays?”

“Of course. I’m down.” Jared smirks and they both laugh, shutting up quickly when Luna makes a noise in her sleep.

“Are you doing anything tonight?”

Jensen says it casually, and Jared knows he doesn’t mean it how his sounds, but the stupid hopeful part of Jared hears it how he wants to and his heart jumps just a little in his chest.

“I’ll just crash out on the couch and watch tv maybe. You?”

“Oh, no nothing. No, I just thought about having a curry, if you want to stay?”

“Yeah?”

“Sure, you like Thai?” Jensen pulls onto his street and slows down.

“Love it, yeah.”

“Great, it shouldn’t take too long to make, but there's cookies and stuff if you're hungry?”

“You’re making it? I can barely boil an egg.” 

Jensen laughs, and Jared can’t get enough of the sound of it. He’s still not used to it, but he’s already addicted.

“Fuck... the hell is she doing here?”

“What’s wrong?”

Jared frowns and looks towards Jensen’s house as they pull into the drive. Luna’s aunt is sitting in her car on the phone, and the look she gives Jensen when she sees him makes Jared’s hackles rise.

“Melissa.” Jensen’s jaw clenches and Jared kinda hates her for that alone.

As they park, Melissa gets out of the car and tucks her hair behind her ear with a manicured fingernail. Jensen gets out of the car and Jared follows, the tension making him feel awkward even though he doesn’t really know her.

“I’ve been waiting here for forty minutes. Didn’t you get my text?”

“Jared, can you take Luna inside, please?”

“Sure.” Jared opens the car and unclips Luna’s seatbelt, picking her up without waking her.

“Wait a second,” Melissa says, stepping towards Jared before Jensen puts himself between them. “I came here to see my niece so stay where you are.”

“I won’t be long, Jared. Go on.”

Jensen holds out the house keys and Jared takes them, turning his back on Melissa and not catching whatever it is she mutters under her breath.

Jared feels uncomfortable leaving Jensen outside with her, but he takes Luna upstairs to Jensen’s bedroom and makes sure she’s settled before going back downstairs.

The front door is open a crack, and he can hear Jensen and Melissa arguing. Jared knows he shouldn’t eavesdrop, but it’s hard not to when it sounds so heated.

“Hate me all you want, but don’t bring him into this. You know nothing about Jared.”

“You know what, you’re such a cliche. You think because you have a bit of money you can buy yourself some muscled up bimbo boyfriend and pass him off as “the nanny”. You do know how pathetic that is, don’t you?”

“You need to leave.”

“Are you paying him to sleep with you, or does he do that for free?”

Jared’s blood drains from his face, his hands sweating from being clenched into fists. Jensen said this woman hated him, but he can’t believe the bile in her words.

“Don’t talk about Jared like that.”

“Hit a nerve have I? Your delicate sensibility is bruised? You people are so sensitive.”

Jared finds himself reaching for the door handle, anger boiling his blood at her remarks. You people.

She means...

“Yeah, me and my people are so sensitive, Melissa. We fall apart the second stuck up, shallow, robotic, bigots spit their homophobic venom at us.”

Jared’s hand stills on the door handle. Jensen isn’t taking the things she's throwing at him lying down.

“You don’t even come close to the worst people who’ve attacked me for being gay. Do you think I’m going to realise I’m a monster and hand Luna over to you?”

“Mark my words, Jensen. This isn’t over. I will fight you for my niece. Run along to your fuckboy. I’ll be seeing you soon.”

“Melissa, why are you doing this? I’ve never stopped you seeing Luna.”

Melissa scoffs and shakes her head.

“I want what’s best for Luna. And that is not you.”

She looks Jensen over, her nose wrinkled, then yanks her car door open so hard Jared is surprised it doesn’t come off. 

Unable to help himself, Jared focuses, the air around him rippling outwards. He pictures Melissa’s hands and those nails that she takes such pride in. The glue is easy to loosen, and Jared just wishes he could see her face the next time she washes her hands and all her acrylics fall off.

With a last flourish of sparkling light, he smears her lipstick onto her teeth. Jared feels a smug satisfaction for a few seconds, then goes back into the house and sits on the stairs, waiting for Jensen to come back inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andy! Be merciless! Make me tap!!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen opens up and danger is lurking for Jared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hi, its not Wednesday :) yeah so I'll be aiming to post every other Wednesday now (or at least just posting a chapter every two weeks) I don't want to rush and put out something not good to read :)

Jensen insists on paying for take out.

“I said I’d cook so it’s the least I can do. And to make up for the shitty end to a good day.”

“She’s kinda making a habit of just showing up unannounced,” Jared says, accepting a glass of coke. Jensen offered him a beer but he’s got to drive home, despite how much he could use one right about now. Jensen was the one Melissa attacked, but her words... he can’t deny they affected him too.

“I don’t really know what to do about it. I mean, I don’t want to cut Luna off from family, but they don’t have the closest relationship anyway, and...” Jensen sighs, “lets go sit.”

They go to the living room and Jared notices Jensen put his beer down without drinking any.

“It’s tough. Did she see much of Luna before the accident?” Jared is curious to know, because Luna was pretty wary of her aunt when she turned up the other day.

Jensen bites his lip and puts his feet on the coffee table. He’d changed into some jogging bottoms and a sweater, but his feet are bare.

“Not really. She lived in Canada for a while, and she was around when Luna was born, but she was only back and forth a few times a year.”

Jared nods. He’s glad that this feels like two friends talking and not a therapy session.

“It’s pretty hard to talk about, so bear with me,” Jensen says, laughing softly, though it’s obviously to cover his nerves.

“There’s no rush,” Jared says, watching Jensen take a deep breath.

“Me and Josh were really close, and when he and Beth started dating she just fit, you know? She was fun, and kind, just a great person. Josh used to joke that she liked me better than him.”

Jared smiles. 

“Beth and Melissa sound like total opposites.”

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” Jensen replies. 

“They weren’t close then?”

“No, they weren’t.” Jensen frowns.

“Sorry, if it’s too much,” Jared adds, but Jensen shakes his head.

“It’s not, it’s just weird talking about them. I haven’t much since the funeral.”

Jared waits, drinking his coke. He wishes he could use his magic to get Jensen a blanket or something, give him some comfort, but he’s pretty sure Jensen would notice a blanket flying around his shoulders. Instead, Jared just nudges the dial on the heating system up a notch or two. Jensen isn’t looking when a few dust like sparkles dance across the room.

“I don’t think Melissa liked how well me an Beth got on, but I always had a feeling it was something more.” Jensen shrugs and looks back at Jared. His eyes are focused on him, determined, but almost like he’s stealing himself for what’s to come.

“Was there?” 

“Yeah,” Jensen says. “I remember asking Beth if Melissa was ever homophobic around her. I guess i confided in her that I thought she didn’t like me because I’m gay.”

After what he heard, Jared isn’t surprised that Jensen had his suspicions about Melissa back then, even if she was more “subtle” about it.

“She called Melissa, confronted her about it, but Melissa never actually said anything to my face so she said it was a misunderstanding. Beth knew though. She kept apologising to me, like it was her fault.”

“She sounds like a great friend,” Jared says, and Jensen nods once. He must miss her terribly, Jared thinks. “Did Josh know?”

“No, I asked her not to tell him. She never kept anything from Josh, but there wasn’t proof, and we hardly saw her anyway. I didn’t want to upset him.”

“That must have been so hard on you. Both of you.”

Jensen shrugs.

“We didn’t see her much. It’s worse now they’re gone. You’ve seen what she’s like.” Jensen shifts, putting his feet on the floor. “How long does it take to deliver pizza, huh?”

“Do you want me to check on Luna?”

“No, thanks, you’re not working now, Jared. I’ll go.” Jensen stands. “Moneys there if the food arrives, ok?”

“Ok.” Jared watches Jensen go then stands, looking out the window just as someone on a delivery bike come up the drive.

He pays for their order then goes to the kitchen to put their pizza and chilli fries on a couple of plates. Before sitting back down, Jared puts Jensen’s plate on the table and blows on Jensen’s beer, chilling it again.

Jared hears Jensen’s footsteps on the stairs only a few minutes later. 

“She’s our for the count. I thought I should wake her for some dinner but she looks so peaceful.”

“Yeah. I think she ate enough at the beach that skipping dinner won’t matter,” Jared says.

Jensen smiles a little and puts his plate on his knee. 

Jared starts to eat, pleased when Jensen does the same. It’s not the end of the conversation and Jensen definitely needs fuel to carry on with it.

When their plates are almost empty, Jensen gets them both another drink.

“I should have told you all of this when you first started. I thought I could, I don’t know, keep it separate. It’s not really worked out that way.”

“It’s not the easiest thing to talk about, Jensen. Just take your time, I’m not going anywhere.” 

Jensen nods and sits back against the couch.

“I think rushing through it might be the only way I can. You’re going to meet Melissa again most likely so... you should have all the facts.”

Jensen rubs his temple, then reaches over for something on the arm of the couch. Jared is surprised to learn Jensen wears glasses.

“They were meeting up with an old friend who was only around for a few days. I think they’d moved to Australia and Josh and Beth hasn’t seen them in a few years. It doesn’t matter.”

Jared can see how uncomfortable Jensen is. It makes his chest ache.

“They’d asked me to pick up Luna from this baby and toddler activity thing, and I was going to leave work early, but... I lost track of time and Josh called to make sure I had no trouble picking Luna up.”

Jensen stops talking and looks away.

“We can stop if you want,” Jared says, but Jensen shakes his head.

“I’ve always been reliable, you know? I don’t like being late, or letting people down. It was just... it was an author I wanted so bad and... I made it the priority. Josh, he was really upset with me, and he was right to be.”

Jared watches Jensen frown, like he’s said something he didn’t mean to.

“They ended up turning back to go and pick Luna up themselves. I don’t know if they cancelled dinner or if they were just going to take her with them.”

Jensen’s eyes look a little red, tears threatening to spill, but he’s holding it together. 

“Sorry... There was a crash. Not even a drunk driver or anything like that, just an object in the road that made them swerve. The car flipped and went into the side of a restaurant.”

“Jensen, I’m sorry, I...”

“I know. You don’t need to say anything. I wouldn’t know what to say either, it’s ok.”

“Can I ask something?”

“Yeah,” Jensen says.

“You said Melissa never took to you before the accident. Did it get worse because she blames you for what happened?”

“I guess so. She’s never said it directly, but she listed a bunch of my faults in her application for custody and being untrustworthy and a liar we’re just two of them. Pretty obvious what she’s referring to.”

Jared takes a bite of now cold pizza and thinks of how to proceed. Jensen was right when he said that he didn’t need Jared to be his therapist, and Jared doesn’t want to come across like that’s what he’s trying to be. 

“You’ve seen what she’s like. She didn’t like me before, but she hates me now.”

“Jensen, she’s wrong about you not being the right person to take care of Luna. I’ve only worked with you both for a short time and even I can see how dedicated you are to her.”

“I work too much...”

“You don’t think any other single parent feels like that. It’s hard, but you find a balance eventually. You hired me so you can do that.”

Jensen leans forward and picks up his beer, putting the cold bottle against his forehead.

“Josh and Beth knew you were the right person. They named you as her guardian,” Jared continues. 

Jensen scoffs, taking a long swig of beer. He’s keeping something back, Jared can tell, but he’s not going to press Jensen on it. He’s talking more openly than he ever has and Jared knows it’s not easy for him.

“I’ve been looking into seeing someone,” Jensen says softly.

“Oh, um...” Jared is taken aback by the change in subject. “Like online dating?”

Jensen blinks, taking off his glasses. His lips twitch into an amused smile.

“Not dating. A psychiatrist.”

“Oh,” Jared chuckles. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright. I never used to snap so easily, get so... overwhelmed. I didn’t think I’d ever need anger management.”

“You’ve been through some shit, Jensen. I’m not judging you.”

“No, I know. But, I wanted to tell you because of how I’ve been with you. That’s not me. I know it’s no excuse, but I don’t want to fuck up again.”

“You’re doing something about it, and I think that’s admirable.”

Jensen smiles in relief Jared guesses, then yawns loudly.

“Jesus, sorry,” Jensen says, covering his mouth when he yawns again.

“Don’t worry, it’s getting late. I should go.”

They both stand and Jared gets his things while Jensen clears the plates.

“Thanks for listening to all of that. It’s a lot, but it’s better for you to know.”

“I’m glad you could trust me with it.”

Jensen nods and hovers awkwardly by the front door. Jared has the urge to reach out and run his fingers through Jensen’s hair, but of course, he doesn’t.

“I had a really fun day,” he says instead. “Thanks for inviting me.”

“Thanks for coming,” Jensen replies. “See you Monday.”

“Yeah, see you.”

When Jared gets to the bottom of the drive he turns back to give Jensen a wave, feeling like a dork, but not caring all that much. It’s worth it when Jensen waves back before going inside.

Rummaging around in his bag, Jared finds his keys and gets into his car, backing out onto the street. It’s dark, later than he thought he was going to be going home, and too cold to be comfortable in his beach clothes now.

He doesn’t bother putting any heat on in the car though. It’s not long until he’ll be home anyway.

Pulling out onto the next road, Jared goes back over the day in his head, the contrast between the start of the day and the end could not be more different. He’d seen the fun side of Jensen at the beach, maybe somewhat subdued, but still he’d felt at ease and Jared liked it. 

They’d talked like friends, and Jensen laughed at the funny things Luna did, his eyes lit up with love and pride for her.

The change in him when they’d seen Melissa though was shocking. Jensen is obviously so tired of her attacks, it’s like all the life in him drains away. And it’s not just that. Jared realised while Jensen was talking that the thing that he was holding back was that Jensen shares her view of him too. He blames himself for the death of two people he loved more than anything. 

Jared sighs. He’d probably feel the same in Jensen’s shoes, even though it’s absolutely not Jensen’s fault. It’s easier to say when you’re standing on the outside.

Hopefully seeing a therapist will help Jensen see things differently, Jared thinks. He hopes so anyway.

Jared slows down as the lights in front of him turn red. A few cars pass by, but it’s late and not busy at all. He taps his fingers against the steering wheel, humming along to a song on the radio that he can’t remember the name of. 

He’s just thinking about Jensen’s beautiful singing voice in the car on the way to the beach, when a black truck comes from nowhere, circling around him and coming to a stop in front of his right side, blocking him in.

Two men get out, coming towards him so fast that Jared can’t even try to focus his magic, not with the surge of fear making his heart pound.

The drivers side window is smashed, and a man wearing a dark scarf around the lower part of his face points a gun at him.

Jared jerks away, glass in his hair, putting his arms up in defence, but a big hand grabs him by the collar and yanks him forward, trying to drag him out of the car.

Another pair of arms squeeze into the gap of the broken window, a cutting tool slicing through Jared’s seatbelt easily.

It’s all happening so fast, and Jared can’t even feel his magic because of the panic rushing through his body. Something hard cracks against his temple, making his vision go dark, and he’s being dragged roughly through the window. 

Something catches his foot, the peddle maybe, Jared isn’t sure, but one of the men starts to punch him, thinking Jared is resisting.

“Please...” Jared is struck again, and he hears the sickening crunch of his nose breaking.

“Fuck this,” one of the men says.

“Don’t fucking move, we’ve started this now....”

“Fine.”

Jared hears the gun go off, so loud it could have been right next to his ear. Seconds slow down, and then the pain hits him, his shirt soaking with blood so much faster than it does when he’s seen people get shot on tv. 

“Get him out!”

They pull him through the window, throwing him to the ground. Jared lands badly on his arm, the tarmac scraping the skin from his elbow.

He lies there, hearing the men get into the vehicles and speed away, leaving him there to die.

Shaking, Jared grits his teeth against the pain, his life draining out of him. 

He’s never been hurt like this before. He doesn’t know if he can heal himself.

Jared's hands are slick with blood as he holds his stomach, willing his magic to surge into his torn flesh, fuse the organs and muscle and skin back together.

All around him is silent. No cars. No one walking past. No one to help.

Jared closes his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry sorry sorry


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared is bleeding, in agony, but he has to force his body to move. There's only one place he can think of that he'll be safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg yeah I'm super late with this one! I really appreciate all the comments telling me not to push myself and post when I'm ready :) so I'll just keep on trying my best to post somewhat regularly. Thanks for sticking with the fic! I'll be answering comments quicker tooooo oops!

Jared’s mom never told anyone, but even before he was born, she had a feeling that he was special.

When he was around three months old, things seemed to happen around him that she couldn’t explain, and yet they weren’t tangible enough to really see what was going on. Finally, she put it down to her just being over tired, though the feeling never quite left her.

On Jared’s first birthday, his parents threw him a party. Only a small one, with a few of Jared’s older brothers young friends from preschool, and Jared’s aunts, uncles, and cousins. It was a sunny day so most of the party was spent in the garden, until it was time to bring out Jared's birthday cake, and everyone gathered in the kitchen.

The birthday candle was lit, and Jared's mom had him in her arms, about to blow out the flame, when one of Jared's brothers friends started to cry, complaining of a stomach ache.

She took her eyes off Jared for a few seconds, leaning too close to the candle, and when she looked back Jared had just reached his hand out, the top of his finger passing through the flame. Sherri heard Jared scream, but when she looked at his hand, there was no sign of blistering, no red mark, and Jared was back to giggling and trying to put his little fists into his cake.

***

More and more things happened that Sherri couldn’t explain as Jared grew up. 

When they had their third child, Jared's little sister Megan, Sherri noticed that she would always be more calm and never cry when she was with him.

When Megan started to walk, Jared was always the one who found her lost toys, even when Jared's mom and dad had failed to do so.

Both of Jared's siblings would go to him whenever they had a trip or fall, laughing again in no time and wiping their tears away as Jared gave a little kiss to wherever they were hurt.

Sherri asked Megan one day why she hadn’t come to her instead, but Megan just looked confused, telling her mother that Jared's kisses made the boo boos go away.

***

Jared was six years old when he fell down the porch steps and cracked his head open.

He was rushed to the closest hospital, unconscious and so small, pale as milk from all the blood he’d left on the slabs back home.

They’d waited in the corridor, holding each other tightly. Jared’s dad spoke softly, comforting Sherri as her tears soaked his shirt.

“Mr and Mrs Padalecki? I’m doctor Morgan. Would you both come with me, please?”

Sherri began to sob, convinced of the worst, but doctor Morgan put a hand on her shoulder.

“Your son is just fine. He’s sleeping.”

They were taken to a small room, the bleep of a heart monitor next to the bed where Jared lay. The gash on his forehead was nowhere to be seen.

“I... I don’t understand...” Jared's father stammered, touching Jared's hair with shaking fingers.

Sherri looked at doctor Morgan, then back to her son.

“I think I do,” she said. “Do you, Doctor?”

“Not really, if I’m honest with you.” Doctor Morgan indicated the chairs surrounding the bed and they all sat down. “Jared is in no pain. He’s sleeping, while he heals himself... that’s as close an explanation as I can get.”

Sherri took Jared's hand in hers, a faint warm glow surrounding her fingers. 

“My little boy,” she said, tears welling in her eyes. She was so happy, so relieved that he was ok, and that what she’s always known to be true was confirmed.

“Can someone please tell me what the heck is going on?”

Sherri looked kindly at her husband.  He looked rather pale, eyes fixed on his wife and sons twinkling hands.

“Let me explain, dear.”

***

Jared forces himself to open his eyes.

Shock, that’s what it is. Blood loss and shock.

He takes a breath. Then another.

Jared waits until he can manage to sit up. It seems to take forever, but he does it. He puts his hands against the hole in his chest. The bullet hadn’t killed him, but the strain it’ll take on him trying to heal himself might. Light glows under his skin, but it’s faint. All the magic he has is being pooled deep inside, fusing his broken body back together.

Dragging himself to his feet, Jared stumbles onto the sidewalk. A few cars pass him, but none seem to notice him.

It’s so hard to focus, but Jared clings onto one thing, and that is if he can make it back to Jensen’s then he’ll be safe. It helps him put one foot in front of the other.

While his magic is busy trying to keep him from collapsing, Jared's broken nose throbs, blood running down over his lips and into his mouth. The taste of blood makes him feel sick, but he keeps going.

I’ll be safe at Jensen’s.

I’ll be safe.

Safe.

Jensen will keep me safe.

Jared hopes that by the time he gets there, his injuries will be minor, but before he knows it, Jensen’s drive is in front of him. 

Jared nearly cries in relief. His head swims, so lightheaded that his vision blurs, and the front door to the house bends and moves like when oil hits water. 

Bloody fingerprints smear on the dark wood. He tries to knock, but his fist falls short of the door. Jared’s heart feels too slow, sickly beating in his chest.

“Help me... please....”

Jared sags against the doorframe, and this time, when he reaches out, he manages to push the gold button, the sound of the doorbell faint from inside.

Jensen might be asleep, though the lights are still on. It takes so long for him to come to the door, and Jared is shivering violently. 

“Hang on.” Jensen is on the other side of the door. “Luna stay there, alright? Don’t come downstairs.”

No. No, no, no. Jared winces. Not Luna.

The door opens and Jared falls forward, his knees hitting the step. Jensen couldn’t react quick enough, but he has both hands on Jared's arms and it’s enough to stop Jared crumpling to the floor completely.

“Shit! Jared... fuck!”

“She can’t see me like this,” Jared says, his voice quiet and weak. His magic condenses, grows hot like a ball of fire. Searing white light flashes around him and the last thing he sees is Jensen’s face, scared and confused, his hand raised to shield his eyes from the light.

Then everything is black.

***

Jared shifts, his limbs light like he’s floating, and a strange dream lingers in his mind, keeping him in a sort of limbo between being awake and still asleep.

There was a voice in his dream. He couldn’t see who it belonged to, but it was the same voice he’d heard once as a child. Another dream maybe? Jared isn’t sure.

He turns his head a little, into a really soft pillow, and Jared feels so tired he might just go back to sleep again.

“Jared? Can you hear me?”

Jared blinks, his eyelids so heavy that it takes a lot of effort to open them.

“Jensen? What are you doing here?”

It’s then that Jared takes in the room he’s in. It’s not his bedroom, it’s not even his living room. He frowns. He’s in Jensen’s house, lying on Jensen’s couch, because...

“Oh, god...”

“Hey, it’s alright, you’re safe. Stay lying down, ok?” Jensen moves closer, sitting on the coffee table, but although his hand is raised, he doesn’t actually touch Jared.

“I’m really sorry... I...” Jared exhales, shaking his head. “Is Luna ok?”

“Jared, she’s fine. Are you?”

Jensen is frowning, and he looks pale, dark smudges under his eyes like he’s not slept at all.

Jared puts his hand to his stomach, palm flat where the gunshot wound should be. It all comes rushing back, the attack, the fear, the pain. He remembers knowing he had to get to Jensen’s, but once he got there it’s all fuzzy.

“I know about your magic,” Jensen says, calmly. Like it’s no big deal. 

But his eyes give him away. Jared has seen so many emotions in them before that he can tell that Jensen is freaked out.

“After you collapsed, I didn’t know what to do. Your injuries... they were gone.” Jensen pauses. “I, um, carried you into the house and a bullet fell out of your shirt and I stepped on it. It made no sense.”

“Jensen...” Jared can’t seem to say anything else.

“I called someone, a doctor who treated Luna when she got sick that time, you remember?”

Jared nods.

“I told him you were hurt, but I couldn’t take you to hospital, so he agreed to come over.”

The thought sends a shock of fear through Jared. He doesn’t go to doctors, he never really needs to, but even if he does get a cold or some other minor illness, he avoids anyone who might discover the truth about him.

“The doc said he knew you. That he treated you as a child.”

“What?” Jared frowns.

“His name’s Jeff Morgan.”

“I don’t... I don’t know him.”

“Well, he knows you. He told me you’d hurt yourself pretty badly when you were about six, but you healed yourself. Like you have now.”

Jared lowers his eyes.

“Oh.”

“Jared, last night... I thought you were going to die. I’ve never seen anyone look so... There was so much blood, and then it was like an explosion. Was that magic?”

“Yes.”

Jensen blinks rapidly, scoffing and putting his hand over his mouth for a few seconds.

“How is this real?”

He stands up and starts to pace before sitting back down quickly. He links his fingers together, maybe to keep himself from fidgeting, Jared isn’t sure, but he can see that Jensen is understandably confused.

“I can explain...” Jared pushes himself up with his hands so he’s sitting up a little more. 

“Explain that I’ve gone completely off my head?” 

“You haven’t,” Jared replies. 

“Will you start with last night? What happened?”

Jared nods, taking a breath. He’s so tired, but Jensen deserves an explanation.

“After I left here, I was driving home, and I stopped at a red light and this car pulled in front of me. Two men got out, one smashed the window and one hit me... with a gun I think. It happened so fast, I couldn’t do anything...”

“Fuck,” Jensen says. “I should have called the police.”

“No, no... you did the right thing. How could you have explained this?” Jared looks down at himself. He hadn’t noticed before, but he’s not wearing his own clothes.

“Jeff helped with that,” Jensen says, looking a little embarrassed. “Yours were soaked with blood.”

Jared nods. 

“Thank you. I’ll pay for any damage.”

Jensen doesn’t respond to that, and looks like he’s lost in thought until Jared coughs.

“I’ll get you some water,” he says, going over to the kitchen.

Jared watches him from the couch, his heart still thumping too hard in his chest. It’s only a matter of time until Jensen dismisses him, and he’s dreading it.

“Are you hungry?” Jensen says when he comes back, handing Jared a glass of water.

“No, thanks.” Jared takes a sip. “Jensen, I’m sorry I lied to you, but I couldn’t tell you about what I am. Last night... I’m sorry I came here, and I’m sorry I scared you, I just... I didn’t mean for you to find out like that.”

“Did you mean for me to ever find out?”

Jared looks away.

“I don’t know. I’ve never told anyone before.”

Jensen stays quiet again, and Jared has to keep his own thoughts contained because they’re all jittering about in his head threatening to spill out. He doesn’t want to make things worse, but he doesn’t want to lose Jensen, or Luna. He likes his job, and he likes them. Really likes them.

“I should go.”

“What?” Jensen is frowning.

“I thought... before Luna wakes up, and I’ve taken up so much of your time and...”

“She’s with Steve. He’s looking after her today. I really don’t think you should be going anywhere just yet.”

“I’m glad she didn’t see me last night.” Jared touches his face, remembering the sickening crunch when they’d broken his nose, but his hand comes away clean. It seems Jensen cleaned that up too.

“Yeah, me too. Are you in pain now?”

Jared shakes his head. 

“No, not now. Whenever I use magic it takes energy, but what happened last night, well it took a lot out of me.”

“Yeah. It was like you were unconscious, not just sleeping. Survival mode.”

Jared drinks some more water, hoping it’ll help stop him falling asleep. He can tell Jensen has so many questions, more than he can focus on to ask probably.

“Jensen...”

A loud ring startles them both, and Jensen looks around for his cell phone, standing up to answer it.

“Steve? Everything ok?”

Jensen stands and walks to the doors to the back yard. He doesn’t go out though. Maybe he needed a bit of distance.

Jared slumps back against the cushions, steadying his breathing and hoping that will stop him shaking. It’s hard enough dealing with being magically outed to Jensen, but Jared is finding it hard dealing with the trauma of being attacked. He’s never had anything like that happen to him before, and he just remembers being frozen in fear.

Pushing back the blankets covering him, Jared forces his legs off the couch, his feet feel numb on the carpet. He catches Jensen’s eye, mouthing bathroom, before standing up. There’s blood on the couch, Jared can see it even though it’s been hidden under a throw. The corners are gathered where he’s been lying on it and the blood underneath... there’s a lot.

Jared sways a little, lightheaded and woozy, but then Jensen’s hand is on his lower back, keeping him from falling.

“Steady.”

Jared stands for a few moments, the heat of Jensen’s hand like an anchor. For a split second Jared wishes that Jensen would put his arm around him, pull him into an embrace, and just hold him for a while.

But he hears the distant voice of Steve still on the phone. Jensen mustn’t have ended the call. 

“I’m ok. Thanks,” Jared says, with a small nod. He moves away and walks slowly to the bathroom, thankful that Jensen’s house has one on both floors so he doesn’t have to climb the stairs.

Before he closes the door he hears Jensen talking to Steve again, sounding unsure and asking about Luna again.

Jared leans his head against the door, the coolness of it so good against his skin. 

When he goes to the sink, Jared looks at himself in the mirror. Apart from a few missed smears of blood, there’s nothing to show what happened last night. Lifting his T-shirt, his chest is without a mark.

Jared can still feel it though, the place where the bullet tore through him, hear the bang of the gun so loud in his ears. He can feel the weak thread of his magic, slowly recovering from its trauma. 

“Jared?” There’s a soft tap on the door. “You ok in there?”

“Yeah, I’m... I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Ok.”

Jensen doesn’t leave right away, probably listening to make sure Jared isn’t going to keel over and fall into the bathtub or something. 

He’s been so kind, considering. Jared is grateful Jensen didn’t call the police about him. He wouldn’t have blamed him really. Jared has always been careful about his magic, and it’s been so long since he’s been afraid about being taken away in a straight jacket or something, that he’d forgotten how scary the possibility could be. To be taken away and tested on, prodded and poked and looked at like a lab experiment. 

Sighing, Jared goes to the door, not wanting to keep Jensen any longer. He’s going to just be direct and accept his dismissal, however much he doesn’t want to.

Jensen is in the kitchen when Jared leaves the bathroom. 

“I’m making toast if you want something,” Jensen says. “Go sit down I’ll bring some over.”

“Jensen, I really appreciate all of this, but I think I should go home. I won’t ask for references or anything, and any wages I’m owed just keep for the damages, and I’ll transfer any more to you when...”

“Jared, calm down, wait... do you think you’re being fired?”

“Um, yeah?”

“Fuck, I’ve handled this all wrong, haven’t I?”

Jared opens his mouth, but he doesn’t know what to say. In the end, the smoke coming from the toaster helps him out.

“Your toast is burning.”

“Shit...” Jensen pops the toast and pulls it out, making little sounds of pain when it burns his fingers.

Jared laughs, and Jensen looks at him, lifting an eyebrow before smiling. 

“I could have used your help with that. I bet you never burn toast.”

Jared smiles and shakes his head.

“Hardly ever, but only because I pay attention to it.”

“Oh, ok, ok,” Jensen chuckles. He seems less tense now, like the ice has broken again between them. “Come on, let’s get you sitting back down. I don’t think I could lift you up again.”

“Saying I’m heavy?” Jared says, lifting his arm for Jensen to tuck his shoulder under, helping him back over to the couch.

“I thought you were literally a dead weight, Jared. I nearly put my back out.”

Jared snorts and sits down, reluctantly letting Jensen remove his arm.

“Look,” Jensen continues, sitting down on the coffee table again, “you’re not losing your job, alright? You’re great with Luna.”

“She makes it easy,” Jared says, the relief of Jensen’s words still sinking in.

Jensen frowns, leaning forward more and putting his elbows on his knees. 

“I need to know, and I’m sorry to ask, but have you used magic on her? Or me?”

“No, never. I wouldn’t do that.”

Jensen nods. 

“Ok.”

“You believe me?” 

“Yeah, I do.”

Unexpectedly, Jared feels tears in his eyes. 

“Why don’t you get some sleep. We can talk more when you’ve had some rest.”

Jensen puts his hand on Jared’s shoulder, and Jared’s heart jumps. The air is charged, there’s no mistaking it, and Jared is sure that if Jensen came towards him now nothing on earth would stop him meeting those lips with his own. 

But, Jensen doesn’t move. His eyes are steady, looking at Jared with such an openness that Jared’s breath catches in his throat. He looks down at Jared’s lips, his earlier paleness replaced with a flush high on his cheekbones.

“You should sleep,” Jensen says eventually, pulling his hand off Jared a little too quickly for it to be natural. Jensen clears his throat and stands. “Just take as long as you need.”

Jared nods. He doesn’t want Jensen to leave him, but he can already feel the pull of sleep.

“Thanks, Jen...” Jared closes his eyes, Jensen’s touch lingering on his shoulder, following him into his dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks always to Andy for all the encouragement to keep going! I will make them smooch soon I promise hehe :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared and Jensen have a lot to talk about, and will they move forward with their relationship?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh so I’ve had a little break and glad to have the next chapter ready for you! Hope you enjoy!!!

Jared wakes up to a sandwich and a glass of water, and a very adorable looking Jensen on the couch opposite.

Smiling, Jared sits up, wrapping the blankets around himself. He still feels weak, but a lot better than he had before, and his magic is tingling again through his body.

Picking up the sandwich, he eats it slowly, letting himself watch Jensen sleep without any shame in doing so. He looks less worried than when he’s awake, but no less beautiful.

It’s not exactly ideal, falling for your employer, and Jared doesn’t exactly know if anything can come of it... but he wants it. After what happened to him last night, and the way that Jensen cared about him, Jared knows he can’t ignore his feelings anymore.

He’s sure Jensen feels the same, but whether or not he’d take it further, Jared doesn’t know.

What he does know is that he can’t lose Jensen now, or Luna, and if that means respecting Jensen’s decision for them to continue as they are, then that’s what Jared will do.

Putting the last of his sandwich down, Jared drinks some water before deciding to try to get to the bathroom on his own. He’s just getting to his feet when Jensen’s phone buzzes on the table.

Jensen doesn’t stir, and Jared doesn’t want to wake him, but it might be Steve calling about Luna so Jared picks the phone up.

But it’s not Steve’s name on the screen. It’s Melissa’s.

“Hello?”

“Jared? Why are you there on a Sunday? And why are you answering Jensen’s phone? Is he alright?”

Jared frowns. 

“Jensen’s fine. There was an emergency at work so I’m watching Luna while Jensen’s on a zoom meeting.” It’s a lie, but Jared figures he doesn’t owe her the truth, so he doesn’t feel guilty about it.

“What? Those stupid...” Melissa mutters, clearing her throat before speaking to Jared again. “I’ll call him later.”

Melissa hangs up and Jared puts the phone back down on the table. 

“That was weird,” he says, making his way to the bathroom.

He doesn’t feel like he’s going to fall over, and he’s sure Jensen won’t mind, so Jared strips down and gets into the shower.

The water is hot and so welcome on his skin that Jared just stands there for a while, letting the steam gather around him and the last of the dried blood float away.

There must have been so much. 

Jared rests his forehead against the tiles. He’s shaking, and it takes a long time for him to calm down enough to use some of Jensen’s shower gel, lathering it in his hands and just moving it over his arms and chest. He hasn’t got the energy to clean himself properly, but when he shuts off the water, he does feel more refreshed.

Stepping out, Jared dries himself and puts the sweats and T-shirt back on, scrubbing his hair a little but leaving it damp.

When he opens the door, it’s no surprise to find Jensen hovering nearby.

“Hey... you alright?”

Jared smiles and nods. “Yeah, I’m good. You don’t mind...” He gestures towards the bathroom.

“Course not,” Jensen replies. “You don’t have to ask.”

“Thanks. Oh, and thanks for the sandwich.” Sitting back down on the couch, Jared finishes off what he’d left before, only now feeling a pang of hunger.

“You want something else?” Jensen asks, obviously noticing Jared wolfing the end of his sandwich. “There’s some leftovers from last night, or I can make something?”

“Leftovers would be awesome. But, only if you eat something too.”

Jensen ducks his head, looking back up at Jensen with a glint in his eyes.

“You don’t miss much do you?”

“You’re not as subtle as you think you are,” Jared replies, smiling.

Finishing his last bite, Jared sits back on the couch. The blankets Jensen and Jeff must have put under him when they’d undressed him are a bit rumpled, and for the first time Jared sees the extent of the damage. There’s blood everywhere.

Jensen is putting the pizza in the oven, his back to Jared, so Jared stands up again, trying to be quick before Jensen notices and tries to stop him.

Lifting his hand, Jared gathers his magic, feeling the glow swirl and jump in his palms. Moving the blankets to the floor, Jared frowns in concentration, focusing on removing the stains.

“It won’t be long. Jared? What..?”

Gold sparks dance into the air, and a ripple spills out, covering the couch, soaking into it. Jared grimaces, it’s taking more out of him than he should be allowing right now, but he’s not going to stop. With one last push, the sparks scatter, and the couch in front of him looks as good as new.

“Holy shit.”

Jared turns, surprised to see Jensen charging towards him.

“I got you.” Jensen almost bear hugs Jared and they both land on the couch. 

“M’ok...” Jared blinks when Jensen leans back, still keeping both hands on Jared’s arms. “I just wanted to fix it. I didn’t realise it was so bad.”

“I don’t care about the couch, Jared. I care about you...” Jensen’s eyes widen, like he’s shocked by his own admission, but then he sighs. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine, really. I’m sorry.” Jared lowers his hands, resting them on Jensen’s knees. The magic didn’t take much from him, and he feels pretty much the same as he did before he did it. Not great, but no worse either.

“The last time I saw you do something like that I thought you’d died.” Jensen ducks his head. “I thought... I thought I’d lost you. Fuck, I don’t know how to do this.”

“Jensen, it’s alright.”

Shaking his head, Jensen puts his hands over Jared’s, stroking his fingers gently.

When Jensen looks up again, it’s like all of his walls have finally gone. He’s open, and real, and he looks scared, but it doesn’t stop him from moving in and kissing Jared.

It’s gentle, not pushy, almost like Jensen is waiting for a sign from Jared. It doesn’t take long for Jared to show him that it’s more than ok.

Wrapping his hand around Jensen’s neck, Jared pulls him closer, their lips pressed tight. Jensen makes a sound in the back of his throat, his lips parting just enough for them to really kiss.

Jared feels Jensen’s hand tentatively brush where the bullet had entered his chest, his knuckles grazing and then the flat of his palm.

Their tongues touch, the kiss deepening, but Jensen leans back before things get more heated. With a final stroke of his thumb against Jared’s chest, Jensen removes his hand.

“I’ve wanted to do that ever since I met you,” Jared says, speaking before Jensen has the chance to apologise or something stupid like that.

Snorting, Jensen looks amused.

“You have bad taste in men.”

Jared laughs, taking Jensen’s hand. 

“I really don’t.”

Jensen exhales, looking down that their linked fingers.

“I’ve wanted this too, it just took a while to admit it to myself, and then I couldn’t do anything because I didn’t want you to find another family to work with if we...”

“Hey, breathe,” Jared says, soothingly. “We can work it out.”

Jensen nods, but doesn’t look fully convinced, so Jared kisses him again, wanting to reassure him. It feels so good, and Jensen moans into his mouth, untangling their hands so that he can slide them into Jared’s hair. Jensen kisses like he’s starving, and Jared wonders how long it’s been.

The thought is cut short though, because for one, Jared doesn’t want to think of anyone else being with Jensen like this, but also because his mind is feeling fuzzy, exhaustion catching up with him again.

“Jen, wait...”

Jensen stops kissing him immediately, a look of worry passing over his features.

“Too much?”

“No, god no,” Jared chuckles. “I just want to lie down.”

Jensen swallows and nods, scooting back on the couch to make room for Jared to put his legs up.

“You could too? Don’t want to nap on my own,” Jared says, patting the cushion beside him.

“Yeah, sure... yeah.” Jensen replies. He lies down next to Jared, back to chest, humming when Jared puts his arm around his waist. “Shit, I forgot the pizza.”

Jensen gets up, holding Jared’s arm up by the wrist to move it off of him. 

“Don’t go anywhere.”

“I won’t,” Jared says, watching Jensen go into the kitchen to switch the oven off. When he’s feeling himself again, Jared will use his magic more to keep Jensen from getting up out of his arms to do silly things like switching off lights or locking the door. 

“There, the house won’t burn down now,” Jensen says, returning. He stands next to the couch, looking a little anxious.

“Are you going to stand there and watch me sleep like a weirdo?”

Jensen huffs and gets back on the couch, the weight and warmth of Jared’s arm finding him again.

“Just so you know,” Jensen says, snuggling back against Jared, his eyes closing. “I think you’re pretty incredible.”

“I’m glad it didn’t scare you. No one other than my family have seen what I can do, so I didn’t know how you’d react.”

“Mm, well I didn’t have much time to react to it,” Jensen says softly. “But, I wasn’t talking about the magic.”

“Oh...” Jared holds Jensen a little tighter. He closes his eyes, resting his cheek on the curve of Jensen’s shoulder. “I think you are too.”

***

“Hey.”

Jared smiles, rubbing his eye with one hand. The other is currently occupied being held by Jensen’s. They can’t have slept for more than an hour, but it was much needed.

“How’re you doin?” Jensen asks, yawning.

Jared inhales. His body feels more alive, his magic almost back to normal.

“A lot better.”

Jensen smiles, shaking his head. 

“What?” Jared smiles wider, he can’t help it. Jensen smiling is so infectious, and so rare, that Jared can’t believe he’s gone so long without it.

“Just, who’d have thought you were shot yesterday?” Jensen sits up and turns so that they can face each other. “Those bastards are going to get away with it.”

Jared’s smile drops, and he puts his hand on Jensen’s knee, trying to comfort him.

“I can’t report it...”

“No, I know. It doesn’t make it any easier though.”

Jared sits up, pulling his knees up to his chest.

“I’m glad I came here.”

Jensen’s face softens, and he leans in at the same time Jared does.

The kiss this time feels different than before, more intent, and Jared doesn’t even have time to worry if he’s got nap breath before Jensen’s tongue is in his mouth.

Jared’s heart swoops in his chest, his stomach flipping like mad, because this is Jensen... kissing him!

“Mm, wow...”

“Huh?” Jensen takes a breath, pressing their foreheads together. “This ok?”

“So much, yes,” Jared replies.

“We should probably talk about how this, how we’re, going to work?”

“Mm, we could. Or you could shut up and kiss me again. I think that’s a better plan.”

Jensen bites his lip, his eyes darkening.

“Yeah, so do I.”

Jared laughs, pulling at Jensen’s T-shirt. He lowers his legs so that Jensen has more room, giving him a playful nudge when he hesitates.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t. Stop overthinking” Jared kisses the side of Jensen’s mouth, his fingers more insistent now, practically dragging Jensen on top of him. “Come here.”

Jensen doesn’t argue this time, hitching his leg over Jared’s waist, straddling him.

He gets his fingers into Jared’s hair again, he definitely has a thing about it, Jared thinks. Not that he’s complaining. Especially when Jensen tugs on it when their mouths meet again. 

Jared moans, getting a good hold of Jensen’s hips. He wants to see more of him, feel more, and it seems Jensen is on the same page because his hands are out of his hair and pushing Jared’s shirt up.

Wanting to look, Jensen abandons Jared’s mouth, his thumbs ducking under the fabric to rub Jared’s nipples. 

“Beautiful,” Jensen says, and it’s like he’s talking to himself, like he’s so much in awe of what he’s seeing he can’t keep what he’s thinking from spilling out. “I want you so bad...”

“Can we go upstairs?” Jared watches Jensen’s attention come back to the present moment, and he nods, leaning back down to kiss Jared again, softly this time. Jared can’t get enough.

They haven’t even started to move off the couch when there’s a clicking sound, and the creak of the front door opening and closing.

“Helloooo?”

“Unkie Jensen!”

The kiss breaks with a loud smack of lips, and Jensen launches himself off the couch so quick he almost falls over the coffee table.

“Shit, sorry... did I tread on you?”

“No,” Jared replies, scrambling to pull his T-shirt down, arousal quickly turning to embarrassment. He doesn’t miss the smirk Steve gives him.

Luna clambers up Jensen’s leg until he picks her up, giving her a big hug and kissing her cheek.

“Oh, uh, sorry fellas,” Steve drawls, Luna’s mermaid backpack slung over his shoulder. “I called a few times. The little lady was keen to come home, but I guess you were busy, uh... what were you doin?”

“Jared is here!” Luna squeals, squirming out of Jensen’s arms and runs to him.

“Careful, baby, Jared’s been poorly.”

Luna stops right before she throws her arms around Jared.

“Are you sick, Jared?”

“I’m feeling a lot better now. Here, give me a hug.” Jared squats down so she can put her arms around him. He smiles at how gently she does it.

“I was sick in my daddy’s shoe when I was poorly once,” Luna says, scrunching up her nose. “Not in my shoe. Oh!”

Luna runs to her toy box and returns with a plastic stethoscope.

“Doctor Ackles in the house,” Steve chuckles,sitting on the couch next to Jared and holding out his hand. “You must be Jared, nice to meet you at last. You know my other half, Chris.”

“Oh, Chris yeah, he works with my brother.” Jared shakes Steve’s hand.

“That’s the one. He gave me your card when I mentioned Jenny was looking for someone to look after Luna. Raved about you.”

“Well, um, that’s really nice of him.” Jared smiles, still feeling a little awkward.

“As I see it, it’s deserved. Luna talked a lot about you. So, is everything alright?”

Jared looks at Jensen, not sure how much he’d told Steve when he’d asked him to pick Luna up last night.

“Hey kiddo, why don’t you colour a picture for Steve before he goes,” Jensen says, walking over to where Luna is listening to Jared’s knee with her stethoscope.

“A pony?!”

“Oh, that sounds perfect,” Steve adds.

Luna goes over to her toy box again, getting her pens and paper out, and lies down on the rug by the french doors to draw.

With her out of earshot, Jensen sits and starts to explain things to Steve.

“Jared was carjacked. They attacked him at gunpoint, and I just didn’t want Luna to overhear anything or get scared. I really appreciate you having her.”

Steve looks shocked, his eyes moving from Jensen to Jared then back to Jensen. For some reason, Jared doesn’t feel like he’s entirely convinced. Probably because Jared doesn’t have a scratch on him. 

He’s moved by Jensen keeping his secret, but he feels guilty that he’s having to lie to someone so obviously important to him.

“Jesus, that’s crazy. What did the police say?”

“Uh, there wasn’t any cctv around. I don’t think there’s much chance of catching them,” Jared says. He looks down at his hands, avoiding looking at anyone.

“Right, well that sucks, man. I’m glad you weren’t badly hurt.”

“Just shaken up,” Jensen says. He picks up his phone off the table, rolling his eyes. “Three missed calls. Sorry, oh that’s why, it’s on silent.”

“Mm, on silent, that’ll be why you missed it,” Steve says, winking at Jensen.

“Shut up,” Jensen replies. 

“Oh, I forgot, Melissa called earlier,” Jared says, grateful for the change of subject. “You were sleeping so I answered.”

“What did she want?” Jensen says, tension in his voice.

“She asked if you were ok, and why I was here. She sounded surprised when I told her you were fine, but I guess it was because she wasn’t expecting me to be here on the weekend. I don’t know, it was kinda weird.”

Jared watches Jensen and Steve exchange a look.

“What?”

“Melissa has never asked how I am.”

“Ever,” Steve continues. “Weird is an understatement.”

“Jay, did she say anything else?”

Jared thinks back. “Uh, I don’t think so. She said she’d call later.”

“Hmm.” Jensen is lost in thought, lines appearing between his eyebrows. 

Jared looks at Steve, and he doesn’t seem happy either. He must be only too aware of the way Melissa treats Jensen. Jared is glad that he’s such a good friend to him.

“Well, I best be off. Let me know if you need me to take her again,” Steve says, winking again and standing up. “How’s that pony coming, kid?”

“Finished!” Luna yells, standing on Steve’s boots and holding up her picture.

“A fantastic pony. Beautiful,” Steve says, ruffling Luna’s hair. “See you soon, pipsqueak. Be good for Unkie Jensen and Jared, ok?”

“I will.”

“See ya,” Steve says, heading for the door.

“Bye,” Jared says, and watches Jensen walk his friend to the door. 

There’s definitely something wrong, but Jared can’t put his finger on what.

“Jared, can we watch cartoons?”

Luna gets onto the couch and sits next to him, carefully. 

“Sure we can,” he replies, putting his arm around her.

“Cartoons make everyone feel better when they’re poorly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Andy! 😘


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen tells Jared of his suspicions and try to figure out what to do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its been a while, but here's an update and I'm thinking there may be around two more chapters to go now. Hope you're all doing well and you enjoy reading! Thanks!

It’s early Monday morning and Jared finds Jensen standing in the garden looking up at the sky. He says his name twice with no response, finally getting his attention with a hand on his shoulder.  
  
Jensen jumps a little.  
  
“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you,” Jared says, taking his hand away.  
  
“No, you didn’t.” Jensen turns and smiles.  
  
“I did, but ok,” Jared replies, smiling back. The smile fades when he sees Jensen still looking pensive. “What’s up? Is it what happened between us, because of you...”  
  
“No, it’s not that,” Jensen says, shaking his head and wrapping his hand around Jared’s wrist. “Definitely not that.”  
  
“Ok, good,” Jared says, stepping closer, happy when Jensen slips his arm around him. “It’s something though.”  
  
“Hm, I don’t know. What happened to you...”  
  
“It was a random attack. Horrible as it is, it happens a lot.”  
  
Jensen shakes his head.  
  
“I know they do, but I just can’t get it out of my head that there’s something more about it.”  
  
Jared frowns, watching Jensen look back out over the garden to the trees behind the fence. He might not have known Jensen all that long, but what he does know is that he’s not someone to turn his back on something serious. If Jensen is worried about something, then it’s not something to just brush off.  
  
“Ok, tell me what you’re thinking,” Jared says.  
  
Jensen squeezes Jared’s hip, putting his head on his shoulder and sighing.  
  
“That’s just it, I don’t know what I’m thinking. Or if what I’m thinking could even be real.”  
  
“Well let’s try and figure it out, ok? Want to go inside?”  
  
Jensen takes a deep breath of the crisp morning air.  
  
“Luna’s still asleep. Let’s stay here a bit longer,” he says, lifting his head from Jared’s shoulder and turning towards him. “You doing ok?”  
  
Jared nods. Looking at Jensen now, he can’t believe how far they’ve come since they first met, and how much both of them have grown. Jared just wishes they could have some time for each other now, minus all the drama.  
  
“I think... gut feeling sure that Melissa is behind your attack.”  
  
Jared blinks. “She’d go that far?”  
  
“Yeah, she would,” Jensen says. “I’m fucking sick of it, Jared. I’ve tried to get along with her, maybe I hoped to change her mind about me once, but when I knew I couldn’t I tried to be civil. I’m not doing that anymore. I don’t want her near Luna, and I don’t want her near you and me.”  
  
Taking Jared’s hand, Jensen lifts it to his mouth, kissing his knuckles. Jared tries to take it all in, and despite not knowing Melissa well at all, from what he’s seen of her, he has to admit that Jensen’s suspicions don’t sound far fetched at all.  
  
“But, why go after me? She doesn’t know we’re, um, together. How would hurting me benefit her?”  
  
Jensen squeezes Jared’s hand.  
  
“Maybe... maybe without you she’d see I couldn’t cope and use that to apply for custody again?”  
  
“It’s a bit of a risk though, I mean, you could have hired someone else.”  
  
“Hm, yeah, I thought that too.” Jensen frowns, looking back towards the house, but there’s still no sign of Luna. “What if she wasn’t planning on hurting you at all? What if it was me she wanted dead and whoever she hired got you instead? Remember when she called and you answered the phone, it was like she wasn’t expecting me to be there.”  
  
Jared pulls away from Jensen, a cold wave of shock running down his spine. Could that be true? Did Melissa really hate Jensen that much?  
  
“I’m so sorry, Jared.”  
  
“No, don’t be sorry,” Jared says quickly, moving to be close to Jensen again. “None of this is your fault. If you’re right... fuck, she wanted to kill you, Jensen.”  
  
Putting his hand on Jensen neck, Jared presses their lips together. Jensen responds immediately, opening his mouth to deepen the kiss. It makes Jared’s head spin. He wishes they could be like this and not have the dark cloud hanging over them.  
  
After too short a time, they both stop the kiss, aware that Luna could wake up at any time and see them. They haven’t discussed how that’s going to work yet, and the relationship is so new, it’s probably not wise for her to be told anything just yet.  
  
“What do you think we should do?” Jared asks, rubbing a hand down Jensen’s arm.  
  
“I’m going to talk to Steve. He has a friend whose a cop and maybe, I don’t know, maybe there’s something they can do?”  
  
Jared nods. At least Jensen has a plan, or the start of a plan. If it were left to him Jared wouldn’t know where to start.  
  
“I just keep thinking... if you weren’t able to heal like you do...” Jensen’s sentence cuts off, like it’s too painful for him to voice any more out loud.  
  
“I’m glad that I can too, and that it was me they hurt not you. Hm, maybe glad isn’t the right word.” Jared gives Jensen a smile and a nudge, and it lightens the mood a little. “Any chance of some breakfast?”  
  
***  
  
Once Luna wakes up the mood in the house brightens.  
  
She’s thrilled that Jared had a sleepover, but not so much that he did while she was having a sleepover with Steve and Chris.  
  
“Well, maybe Jared can stay here tonight too?” Jensen sucks some jam off his thumb then bites into some toast. “If he’s free?”  
  
“Yeeeees!” Luna screeches.  
  
“I think that’s a yes then,” Jared says, laughing at Luna doing a little happy dance in her chair.  
  
“I’ll drive you to your place to get some things after breakfast.”  
  
“Thanks,” Jared says. “I almost forgot about my car.”  
  
Most likely it’s been burned out or cut up by now, Jared thinks to himself. Not ideal, especially when he can’t claim on the insurance. Getting a new car will put him in serious debt, but he can’t be without one.  
  
“Hey, don’t worry about that. I’ll get it sorted,” Jensen says, touching Jared’s hand from across the table while Luna is distracted by her cereal.  
  
“I can’t let you do that,” Jared says, realising what Jensen means. He can’t buy him a car.  
  
“Just a rental,” Jensen says, taking his hand back and lifting it in the air.  
  
Jared nods, giving Jensen a shy smile. He knows Jensen is generous, and that he wouldn’t do something to flash around how much money he has, but it wouldn’t have been right to take something like that from him.  
  
“I will pay you back,” Jared says, finishing his breakfast.  
  
Jensen just rolls his eyes.  
  
“Shall we go?”  
  
“Yes! Can I see your house, Jared?” Luna has jam on her cheek and in her hair.  
  
“Sure you can,” Jared says, laughing as Luna wriggles away from the cloth in Jensen’s brings towards her face.  
  
“Sticky kid, come here,” he says, and Jared watches with what he knows is a moon eyed expression.  
  
How anyone could want to take Luna from Jensen is just crazy. He’s so caring, so happy to have her in his life, and it makes Jared’s stomach turn at the lengths someone who is meant to love Luna would do to destroy it. Melissa really is something else.  
  
***  
  
On the way to Jared’s apartment, Jensen is quiet. Jared makes sure he keeps distracting Luna in case she notices, but she’s happy enough looking at birds and dogs out the window.  
  
They stop at a red light and Jensen’s hands tighten on the steering wheel. He looks in the rear view mirror constantly.  
  
“Hey, it’s ok, Jensen,” Jared says, keeping his voice down.  
  
“You don’t know that. I should have come on my own.”  
  
The light changes and Jensen drives, glancing at Jared.  
  
“Sorry, it’s just... I keep seeing how you looked when I opened the door that night.”  
  
“Yeah... I get it.” Jared starts feeling more nervous himself. If Jensen was the intended target, who is to say they won’t try to hurt him again. “I won’t take long getting some thing, ok?”  
  
Jensen nods.  
  
“Maybe get enough for more than one night? If you want to stay longer? I just think it’s safer if we stay together.”  
  
“That the only reason?” Jared smiles at the wink Jensen gives him.  
  
They don’t talk the rest of the way, each being cautiously vigilant, but the tension isn’t quite as bad.  
  
Jensen carries Luna into the apartment block, telling her she can go down once they’re inside.  
  
“It’s not too far now,” Jared tells her, glad that his door is locked using a key pad and not a physical key or he’d be stuffed. They’d have been stolen along with the rest of his stuff. “Remind me to cancel my credit cards when we get back. I totally forgot. Damn it.”  
  
“Don’t worry,” Jensen says, putting Luna down as they step inside. He squeezes Jared’s shoulder, his thumb moving in slow sweeps. “They probably just dumped everything. They’re not going to risk being traced using your cards.”  
  
Jared sighs. “Yeah, you’re probably right. Ok, I’ll get some things together.”  
  
“Where’s your toothbrush, Jared. I can get it,” Luna says, looking around the unfamiliar room with wide eyes.  
  
“The bathrooms just down the hall, but I don’t know if you’ll be able to reach. Let’s both go, ok? You can help me.”  
  
Jared brushes his hand against Jensen’s, then follows after Luna who was all ready going to snoop in Jared’s bathroom.  
  
Jensen stands still for a moment, just breathing. He feels jittery, and if he’s being honest, he’s scared. He feels in his gut that he’s right about Melissa, but if he is then where the hell does he start trying to get help. Steve will want to know details, but how will he be able to give them without telling him about Jared’s magic? The cops won’t look into something without proof, but there’s no way he’d betray Jared’s secret.  
  
Jensen sits on the arm of Jensen’s couch. He thinks back to the time he’d called Jared at home when Luna had gotten sick, and how Jared had calmed him down, and didn’t make him feel like a complete screw up. He’d had his back right from the word go, and Jensen is going to do the same for him. He’d find a way to.  
  
“Luna is picking out clothes for me. I said I’d come and check on you.”  
  
Jared comes to stand next to Jensen, stroking the side of his face and then wrapping his hand around the back of his neck. Jensen puts his forehead on Jared’s chest, enjoying the contact.  
  
“Can you magic all of this away?”  
  
“I’m not that good,” Jared replies, laughing softly. “It’ll be ok, Jen.”  
  
Jensen looks up, meeting Jared half way, their lips touching softly. It’s brief, and Jensen ducks his head when they part. Jared steps back when Luna’s footsteps get closer and she runs in holding a bright pink sweater.  
  
“This one is my favourite!”  
  
“Oh, ha, yeah it’s one of my favourites too,” Jared says, nudging Jensen in the ribs when he stands up. “A gift from my gran.”  
  
“It’s stunning,” Jensen says, taking the sweater when Luna waves it at him.  
  
“I’m not afraid to wear pink, Jensen.”  
  
“This shade of pink? Are you sure about that.”  
  
Jared takes the sweater and puts it over the back of the couch.  
  
“Sorry, honey, it’s a bit too small on me. Why don’t you go find something else.”  
  
Luna runs off back down to Jared’s bedroom.  
  
“Uh, there’s nothing dodgy she’s gonna find in there, right?” Jensen steps back into Jared’s space, his arm sliding around his back.  
  
“Nothing,” Jared replies. “Nothing she’ll be able to reach anyway.”  
  
“Oh, really? Hm, interesting...” Jensen kisses him again, a little more thoroughly this time, and for a second he forgets about all the shit that’s going on.  
  
Jared hums against his lips, and neither of them notice Luna creeping up on them until she starts to giggle.  
  
“Shit... uh, I mean...” Jensen groans. “That was an accident.”  
  
“You were kissing!” Luna’s cheeks are pink and her eyes twinkle mischievously. “Is Jared your boyfriend, Unkie Jensen?”  
  
“Um...” Jensen looks at Jared, but Jared just crosses his arms and shrugs, a smirk on his lips.  
  
Jensen hasn’t dated anyone since he had Luna permanently. He didn’t want to mess her up by bringing some guy home and then hurting her more if things didn’t work out and they split up. He doesn’t know if things will even work out with Jared, but he really wants it to.  
  
“Well?” Luna says.  
  
“Well?” Jared says, putting his hand on top of Luna’s head.  
  
“I don’t need you two hanging up on me,” Jensen groans again, but he can’t help but smile too. Squatting down, Jensen holds Luna’s hands. “Would it be ok if he was?”  
  
Luna scrunches her nose up like she’s thinking. For a little girl so young, she’s already wise on how to tease her uncle. Jensen loves her all the more for it.  
  
“Can Jared come to our house more now? And have sleepovers?”  
  
Jensen nods. “Sure, I think that’d be fine.”  
  
“Ok, you can be boyfriends! Jared you need shoes! Come on!”  
  
Luna let’s go of Jensen’s hand and takes Jared’s, dragging him back down to his bedroom.  
  
Jensen sits back down on the arm of the couch and wonders what the heck just happened.  
  
***  
  
When they get back home Luna says she wants to go to her room to read her books, and by her room she means Jensen’s room.  
  
“She’s so excited that you’re staying,” Jensen says, joining Jared in the living room. He sits down on the couch and puts his head in his hands, rubbing his face. “I guess kissing you with her in the next room wasn’t my brightest idea, was it?”  
  
Jared puts a hand on Jensen back, rubbing it slowly.  
  
“I’m not planning on going anywhere, if that’s what you’re worried about. I know it’s early days, but... I’m all in. I want you to know that.”  
  
Jensen sits back, and Jared puts his arm over his shoulders.  
  
“She’s lost so much already, I just didn’t want to risk her losing someone else too.”  
  
“That’s understandable. She wants you to be happy though. She’s a smart kid,” Jared says.  
  
Jensen is quiet, leaning against Jared’s side.  
  
“I’m glad you said you’d stay. I feel better knowing you’re safe.”  
  
Jared watches Jensen frown, but before he can ask what Jensen is thinking about, Jensen turns and kisses the corner of his mouth.  
  
“Let’s get some lunch. I’m going to call Steve after and ask him and Chris to come over for dinner later.”  
  
“Alright,” Jared replies. “Are you going to ask him about his friend? The cop?”  
  
“Yeah, that is if Steve doesn’t think I’ve lost it.”  
  
“Jensen... if you need to tell him about me. It’s not going to be easy to explain things, and what if there’s footage of the attack? What if they see me all shot and stuff...”  
  
“Woah, take a breath,” Jensen says, taking Jared’s hand. “I’m not telling Steve or anyone what you told me. If that means I have to find another way to figure out if Melissa did this, then I will. I’m not going to tell anyone.”  
  
Jared swallows, calming down and feeling the panic subside. He leans in and kisses Jensen’s cheek.  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
“You’re welcome,” Jensen says, his eyes dropping to Jared’s lips. “Hey, um...”  
  
Jensen’s phone cuts him off and he rolls his eyes.  
  
“Oh... it’s Steve.”  
  
Jared nods and stands up.  
  
“I’ll go check on Luna,” he says, brushing Jensen’s shoulder with his fingertips as he passes him.  
  
Jensen answers the call and keeps his eyes on Jared until he reaches the top of the stairs and out of his sight.  
  
***  
  
Steve and Chris can’t make it to Jensen’s until seven, and when they arrive Jensen is giving Luna a bath.  
  
“Jared, hey, how’s it going?” Steve pats him on the back and steps inside. He’s wearing an old looking Stetson and cowboy boots. “You’ve met Chris, right?”  
  
“Yeah, a few times. Good to see you again,” Jared says, holding out his hand.  
  
“You too,” Chris replies, taking it with a big smile, patting him on the shoulder just like Steve did.  
  
“Something smells damn good in here,” Steve says, taking off his hat and jacket. “Where’s Jenny?”  
  
Cringing a little at the nickname, Jared heads for the kitchen, followed by Jensen’s friends.  
  
“He’s giving Luna a bath before bed. Uh, he told me you both like chilli.” Jared knows he sounds nervous. That’s because he is. He has no clue how things are going to go tonight, and although he knows Jensen won’t tell them about his magic, he’s irrationally terrified of being outed anyway.  
  
“Love chilli,” Steve says, walking around the counter to stand next to Jared at the stove. “May I?”  
  
Jared nods and Steve lifts the lid on the pot, leaning down and inhaling deeply.  
  
“Well, if it tastes as good as it smells”  
  
Jared laughs and tries to push away his anxiety.  
  
“Is it chilli I read somewhere that you can put dark chocolate in it?” Chris sits on one of the stools. “I’m sure I heard that.”  
  
“Yeah, you’re right,” Jared says. “I don’t know what it does for the flavour though.”  
  
“Maybe Jensen has some chocolate somewhere?” Chris adds.  
  
Steve opens up a cupboard to look for some and Jared busies himself with the rice and fixings. He’s happy when he hears Jensen coming down the stairs, Luna in her pjs perched on his hip.  
  
“I’ve had a bath!” Luna announces loudly, wriggling to be put down so she can run to Steve.  
  
“Hm, still kinda smell to me,” Steve says, kissing her cheek a bunch of times.  
  
“Do not,” Luna giggles, escaping to Chris who picks her up and gives her a sniff.  
  
“Smells like strawberries to me. I think it’s Steve who smells, don’t you?”  
  
Luna laughs and touches Chris’s beard.  
  
“Did you have a bath too, Jenny?” Steve smirks and looks at the state of Jensen’s clothes.  
  
“Someone thought it’d be funny to squirt me with her whale toy.” Jensen smiles and looks down at himself. “I’ll go change. Jared, can I show you something?”  
  
Jared tries to stay neutral, because as far as he’s aware Chris and Steve don’t know about his and Jensen’s change in relationship.  
  
“Sure.” He puts the lid back on the chilli and follows Jensen upstairs. “Everything ok?”  
  
Jensen smiles and stands outside the room that used to be Luna’s bedroom.  
  
“When I went up to check on her she was dragging all her stuff back in here. Blankets and toys and just the stuff that’s gathered in my room. She couldn’t manage the bed, but I said I’d get it ready for her for tonight.”  
  
Jared frowns and waits.  
  
“She said she wanted to be in her own room if you wanted to sleep over. With me.”  
  
“Oh god,” Jared groans.  
  
“No, she doesn’t know anything like that. I came to that conclusion after I nearly swallowed my tongue,” Jensen laughs quietly. “She’s been taught that people aren’t just moms and dads, that they can be dads and dads or moms and moms. And she’s known Steve and Chris since she was born. She’s a smart cookie.”  
  
“Yeah, she is,” Jared sighs. “Want some help moving the bed?”  
  
“Thanks, I’ll just change my shirt.”  
  
Jared follows Jensen into his bedroom, his fingers twitching. He just can’t help himself.  
  
Focusing on Jensen’s belt, Jared hooks his magic around it and tugs, stopping Jensen halfway towards his dresser.  
  
Jensen turns his head, expecting Jared to be right behind him.  
  
“What the... is that you?”  
  
“Maybe,” Jared says, drawing out the word and giving Jensen’s belt another tug.  
  
Jensen has to walk backwards to get to Jared.  
  
“That... you... that...”  
  
“Yeah, I know,” Jared says, circling around Jensen and grabbing his collar. “Pretty cool, huh?”  
  
“Pretty fucking hot more like,” Jensen replies, leaning in and crushing their lips together.  
  
He puts his hands on Jared’s waist, moving him so that he’s pressed against the doorframe.  
  
“What else can that magic of yours do?” Jensen asks when he comes up for air.  
  
“You’ll find out,” Jared smirks, kissing Jensen again, short soft kisses that regretfully can’t go any further. “We better move the bed and go downstairs before they get suspicious.”  
  
Jensen hums and puts his fingers on Jared’s bottom lip.  
  
“Can I get changed now?”  
  
Jared smiles and nods.  
  
“I suppose. I’ll move the mattress.”  
  
“Don’t trust yourself to keep your hands off me?” Jensen makes it to his dresser this time, opening the drawer and pulling out a dry t-shirt.  
  
“Absolutely not,” Jared says, hauling up Luna’s mattress and giving Jensen a wink before leaving the room.  
  
***  
  
“We were about to send the search party,” Steve says when Jared and Jensen come back downstairs.  
  
“Steve,” Chris says, nudging Steve in the ribs.  
  
“We were moving Luna’s bed. My big girls gonna sleep in her own room now, huh.” Jensen lifts Luna off Steve’s knee and tucks her hair behind her ear.  
  
“I’m a big girl,” Luna parrots, her head falling onto Jensen’s shoulder.  
  
“Time for bed,” Jensen says, looking at Jared. “Won’t be long.”  
  
“Night honey.” Jared smiles when Luna gives him a little wave, then starts to dish up the chilli.  
  
Steve and Chris help, and when Jensen comes back they all move into the living room, plates full and steaming. Jared’s grateful of the beer Jensen hands him, hoping it’ll calm his nerves.  
  
“Oh man, this is awesome,” Steve says, tucking into the chilli.  
  
“So good,” Chris agrees, giving Jared a smile.  
  
“It really is,” Jensen says, knocking his knee against Jared’s.  
  
It’s hard not to reach over and touch Jensen. Now that he can it feels strange not to, but they didn’t actually talk about if Jensen was going to tell Chris and Steve about them. Jared doesn’t know if Jensen even wants to.  
  
“Alright spill,” Steve says, after about half of his food is gone. “You were annoyingly vague on the phone.”  
  
Jensen inhales and puts his plate down on the coffee table. He’s eaten some, but not much. Jared makes a mental note to make him eat something else later.  
  
“Ok, but I want you to listen to everything before you make a decision.”  
  
“Ok,” Steve replies, his face taking on a seriousness that makes Jared feel confident that he won’t dismiss Jensen’s suspicions. He’s glad that Jensen has such fiercely loyal friends.  
  
Jensen starts to talk, explaining that Jared was threatened and carjacked, and that Jensen is sure that he was the intended target. Chris and Steve sit quietly, never taking their eyes off Jensen.  
  
“I can’t prove anything, but I’m sure Melissa is behind it. Things with her have been getting worse, and... well, I mean she hates me. She’ll never forgive me for... for...”  
  
Jensen shakes his head and looks down, and Jared moves a little closer, just to let Jensen know he’s there. Jared meets Steve’s eyes and knows that the man is aware of how Jensen blames himself for Josh and Beth’s accident.  
  
“I think she wants me dead, and I can’t have anyone else get hurt because of me.” Jensen sighs and lifts his head. “I just need help to prove it.”  
  
Both men sitting opposite them are silent, perhaps letting all of the information sink in.  
  
“Well, fuck,” Chris says eventually.  
  
“I’ll second that,” Steve says. “Knew she had no soul, but even I didn’t think she’d sink lower.”  
  
“You believe me?” Jensen sounds surprised, but Jared thinks it’s not because he doubted his friends, more that he doubted himself.  
  
“Jensen, we know you. If you think she’s behind this, we’re with you all the way.”  
  
“All the way,” Chris repeats firmly. “What can we do?”  
  
“Do you think you can ask Jacqui to look into Melissa? Dig up some dirt or if she has connections to, I don’t know, fucking hitmen or something.”  
  
Steve sits back against the couch cushions and starts to eat again. He looks like he’s building a picture in his head.  
  
“I’ll ask her, yeah. I’m sure she’ll do it.” He looks at Jared curiously.  
  
“Why hasn’t it been reported already?” Chris asks, frowning.  
  
“We can’t report it, and Jacqui can’t know about it. I can’t tell you any more than that, but I just need you to trust me.” Jensen draws Steve’s attention back on himself. “Please.”  
  
“If she looks into Melissa, she might find out about that anyway.”  
  
Jared stiffens next to Jensen, but Jensen puts a steady hand on his thigh. It never trembles, not once, and Jared’s heart beats a little faster in his chest.  
  
“I doubt it. There aren’t any cameras where it happened, I’ve checked. But if it comes to that, we’ll deal with it.”  
  
“I don’t understand,” Chris continues, but Steve takes his hand and shakes his head.  
  
“I’ll talk to Jacqui, and we’ll get to the bottom of this.”  
  
“Thank you,” Jensen says. He takes his hand off Jared and picks up his plate. “Anyone want more?”  
  
Jared shakes his head, but Chris and Steve follow Jensen to the kitchen to fill their plates again. He hears Steve start to talk about something general, maybe sensing that Jensen needs the distraction, but Jared is left feeling uneasy.  
  
A bad feeling has settled in his stomach, and whatever happens now, Jared is afraid that things are about to get much worse.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look Andy it's a chapter!


End file.
